First thought of the day after letting go and finding my inner kid. My brat, my favorite personality in creating, crafting, and making something for someone else. Seems yesterday’s last minute stop everything need to write to myself. Caused the most awesome relating back to me by several of you, in your comments I found before I retired last night. Allowing for all the silliness that found me in my dreams, much of that from incidents in my past. Which last night showed up in my dreams to inspire, okay, remind me of the goofy, screwball I turn into, the minute I truly “know” what someone desires, needs or truly longs for, to then only talk themselves out of.
I always, always, always, “Use to” have fun with it! My mom loved cut flowers, but could not stand for someone to spend money on something dead. My solutions: One year I sent her a dozen roses, all with ribbons and balloons which she had to go down to the front desk to receive, then carry all the way through the complex she worked in back to the top floor… the fun was in they were chocolate chip cookies (her total weakness and favorite) made into rose buds and flowers. Another year we use to own a vineyard, where I learned in the treatment of the vines for many molds, diseases and bugs. Roses can be utilized in they attracted all the same things, but being lower to the ground would show symptoms first, indicating the time to treat the vineyard without a calendar for reminders. My solution, check with the local rose expert as to what would grow in our soil, get the rest of my sisters to chip in, 24 rose bushes later, planted on alternate rows at opposite ends of the vineyard, which allowed the rose buds to be cut and trimmed for the health, growth and benefit of the plant. All but one of the rose bushes, were direct sunlight lovers. I had also checked for the specifics of a black opened to luscious red, long stemmed beauty which needed constant shade to thrive and survive, it fit perfectly on the end. Where next to first row of vines stood a gigantic oak which shaded the entrance. My mother got the joy and beauty of all those colorful cut blossoms yearlong up until she died, filling the bowls in all the rooms in her house. I got to have my fun, screwing around in my mind, until I could hatch the perfect scheme, plan, idea for her to have both, roses and practicality, all in my having fun, loving life, and truly caring about the complete outcomes.
So as I am driving this morning, I think about my riding, a whole week off, just handling them, ground work, brushing, grooming. No desire to ride, kind of deep in thought, only fully working the one outside horse who is due to leave next week. Nothing inside of me wants to play with them as far as riding is concerned, just want to be, breathing, noticing, thinking, and finally feeling for what’s next. All I get is allow, it’s okay, it’s not time yet, just be with them. So I do, I write, I watch, I am. Then bingo, right after I post my second post of the day yesterday, the fairies of the universe email the video I post about the awesome winning ride of Stacy Westfall. My heart starts pumping, my mind wakes up, every part of me breathes in the excitement, and the dream comes pulsing to the forefront. I am alive, I am excited, I am intensely awake, I know what it is I am headed toward.
The dream; to run, as fast as we can go as a team, a combination of speed, agility, timing and grace that spills into the arena in an awakening spark of interest in others. Because of the passion, the love, the aplomb, and the connection I had discovered long ago, just kept waiting on the support of another, which I finally found in the last 29 days of all of this writing, sharing, and caring of and about myself… I now give myself all of my support to be me, love whatever it is I am about, and have fun with it because having fun is what life is supposed to be about!