Fascination with My Choice of My View
That felt so real, so alive, and so right. My eyes found my affirmations. Yep, they still felt like me. Spied my check from the Universe, yep, still easy to visualize receiving it, with several more bigger and smaller ones in a simple flowing incoming stream. Then I found my dresser drawers, deliberately picking underwear that was colorful, soft, comfortable and sensual, in a desire to honor this awareness that was streaming through me.
Showered, taking my time, aware of the sensations, then conscious of my feeling of fascination of nothing more than just washing, cleaning, and becoming ready for the day ahead. On to drying my body and my hair with… nope, nothing remarkable happening, other than the fascination of this stepping back and just observing myself. Coffee, cats’ fed, truck started, back in for my wallet, awareness of the sky, more fascination of the clouds lighted up in areas where the reflection of glow came from the building and the cities closest to my place. Gate swung open easily, I drove to work, still just feeling my way.
The morning drive had the feel of the Northern lights in the low overcast sky, clouds changing and portraying in several array of shades and colors the interesting hues of choice from owners of the various vehicles participating in my world of viewing, I was now aware of the word “fascination” in a whole new context. By allowing myself to view things from being fascinated instead of judging or deciding what is there, everything becomes softer, easier, much more simpler to take in and feel. So I drive, writing several chapters of this story or series of stories that show up in my head. One part or story about the beginnings, the series of events that originally shaped the person’s view of and about their life. The next story or section of the book, about the cast of characters, some blurbs /quick insertions about the tales with them and the main character how this influenced the view chosen and applicable at that time. Then a story/section about the present cast of animals, how they constantly mirrored to the participant their approach to the world, and how each change caused in critter equally influenced the reciprocal change in this person. The next section/story about the jobs, the choices, the changes, the decisions made even though feeling right or wrong at the time. How they fully reflected in a looking back, now so many miles, years later.
The final chapters or pages… a constant, ongoing progress, the highs, the lows, the loves, the losses, the new ways to view old ideas, perceptions, things, the tools found and now shared in the recounting of their uses in the daily chapters or pages as life continues evolving and becoming. Now is always the next page we turn, always up to us to how we use it, view, or feel it. I am so in love with this new view of fascination… the power it holds and now shares with me!
My drive then became an awareness of perception… Pat Parelli defines normal behavior “Normal is what everybody does that everybody else is doing when they have half a mind to. The only reason everybody does what everybody else is doing is because everybody else is doing it. In other words, peer pressure. But what’s normal changes every 60 miles and every 6 months.”
Or in my observations this morning, how close one looks and the choice of how one chooses to view it. Now displayed out in front of me by the myriad of colors flowing past me as I drive, with huge expanses of golden tan grass, now frost bitten arranged in its winter coat. There amongst vivid greens of the fresh winter wheat attempting its bid in the open and sparsely vegetated spots. I also find lighter hues of greens and shades of tan, which at distant quick glance seem different, yet when looked at closer it’s the exact same plants, just spaced more randomly, now intermixed with other contrasting growth. Giving an entire palette to be taken in, enjoyed for the beauty of the coming cooler months. Where a different viewer might see the straggled, loose growth of unwanted plants and weeds to be cut, trimmed, uprooted and plowed under for their visualization of what’s to become a few months down the road.
I am so fascinated with yesterday’s lesson. I now look back at how I could of been more aware of the coming storm sooner if I had payed closer attention to my body, in its sudden desire to add a little sweeter taste to the meat sauce. Then again before the total blow up, I remembered suddenly having eaten, in quick succession, six cookies, which were quickly followed by six more. Then the progression to the stepping on the sticky stuff, which proved to be more sugar… unnecessary, except for the small sticking place I had been aware of in my relationship with my youngest. Yet quietly watching, waiting, then trying to bury in the sudden urge for sugar.
Yes, I am listening closer, being more aware with now learning that by keeping the fascinated little child alive, the view can be so different and simpler. These learning sessions are coming, happening, healing and changing, leaving me to just enjoy the freedom each new moment of now weaves into this new fuller, fantastic tapestry of love, joy, and ever expanding ideas and visions for my tomorrows!