Boundaries, Honoring Making And Alowing
If you feel drawn to someone, but you are annoyed because you think that they are telling you some lies, try to look beyond the lies and try to focus upon the feeling. People offer all kinds of words for all kinds of different reasons. Most lies are offered to try to keep things in alignment. We’re not encouraging it, but the motive behind lying is usually a pretty honorable motive. In other words, when a child lies to their parents, it’s usually because they want to be free to do what they want to do, and they don’t want their parents to be upset about it. It’s about wanting an alignment. Physical ears have a hard time hearing this. You keep talking about “We need to be honest.” And we say, we don’t meet any of you who are honest. Even those who claim to be the most virtuous, are not honest, but your vibration always is. We would trust the feeling more than the words.
Excerpted from the workshop in Houston, TX on Saturday, January 13th, 2001 # 280
Which I have been pondering all day, which I think has contributed to the up and down feelings. My son’s school meeting, turned out he turned himself in originally, literally asking (sub-consciously) for the alternative. It went pretty well, he can get out earlier, when he cleans up his act and finds way to apply himself to figuring out the good in going to school and being responsible for his actions.
Great morning lesson, found places where the horse and her are stuck…the horse knows exactly how far he can move to prevent her from moving him. I took over, and tinkered with it (I broke a sweat in 37 degree weather) kept moving him, and re-positioning everything. Till I found the place where he had the choice of backing into the fence and stopping with me consistently, rapidly and constantly increasing pressure with the whip or the opening to easily move forward freely toward. It took about 20 minutes before he decided I was not easy to out maneuver, I was consistent, I would increase the pressure, and I honestly left him a big enough opening for him to choose to go to. Then we went over it with her in charge, and it was improved, but she has a lot to work on till next week’s lesson.
I then came in here to sort through this up and down, whose responsible stuff. Typed up a new wish list and while I was out giving the next lesson. My youngest, because he is still suspended, got on the computer to look something up (his story) when I came back my stuff had been deleted. Argh…mad…enough… I can figure this out. Spitting fire, fuming at the seams, bellowing smoke… I am going to be okay, I am smart, I am allowed to be mad, as he curls up on the couch pretending to be asleep. I gasp, mutter, and type… Then I breathe as I realize the lesson with the horse is me with him. I breathe again, I just change the parameters, suddenly he is walking around cleaning, gathering trash, and washing dishes.
I am okay, I still have my wits about me and I have the list re-done and this typed. I am excellent, even okay with myself for getting and being mad. One day at a time…or getting general one breath at a time, no thoughts just breathe in, breathe out… I am now honoring the save button on my computer every 10 minutes or if I even think about walking away from it.