I am at so much of a better place right now, and in most every incident that played major roles in my day. First I will watch and wait at my little stumbling around now that I have eaten, corresponded, read, reviewed and replied to my beckoning horde of situations and emails.
Desiring so much for a day of honing what it is I desire. The Abe’s from last night led me to the one that I posted and then the one after that completely relaxed my mind and sent me smiling off to bed. Set such a perfect, quieter mood for the new duet of my youngest and me, traveling together at 5:30 am. Me for my route, him for a ride to town, to then walk to his Alt School, we drive up, park and then my freedom begins. Not realizing till I have walked away from him toward my bus, how much I treasure my space, my aloneness. Then quietly in my mind, thanking him for this discovery, I start the bus and feel my way forward.
First my coffee stop, then each one of the three students picked up in turn, miles and miles apart, all the while just reveling in this tiny, yet so important piece of me. I drive, enjoying the darkness from the thick cloud covering, with only the headlights extending out on my path toward my first school. Marveling in the realization of the many times I have heard Abe speak of this same thing, just going by the beam toward one’s destination. At 7 I call his phone to make sure he is up to walk the 10 blocks to school. With no answer I hope he is awake and already gone, but being a mom, I call the dispatch to check and make sure. He’s gone, I relax and just enjoy the ride, and the feeling my day forward.
Get home, feed, and decide to check on, fill and take care of all the fluid reservoirs on my truck. Well aware of this last weekend’s rain, cancelled a lot of my cash clients, but I know I will find a way. I always do. With that thought, I close the hood, walk inside and my phone rings. The lady whose name showed up mistakenly scheduled for this week, instead of two weeks ago when it was raining. Is on the phone, am I available to come to her place for lessons with the horse that just went home. Amazingly I am, my normal pre-paid Monday’s lesson canceled cause her trailer is stuck in the mud. So I give myself an hour, change clothes, grab a second layer because of the misty on and off rain. Swing into the local station to fill up and my card is declined. Hmmm I double check my gas gauge and know I have enough to drive to her town and back.
Get there 30 minutes later, and as I drive up, the horse is already saddled being worked on a lunge line, pitching and giving her handler an interesting display of bravado. I walk up and talk him into breathing, till she calms down. Then step in and help him learn about her and himself. Explaining how she “knows” he’s nervous, easy to tell as she drops her head the moment she feels my energy now holding the rope. I teach him about how this little lady, by being a mustang, is going to teach him so very many things about himself, and what is really going on inside, no matter what he tries to show the world. So for the next two hours the dance begins. First he timidly leads, and she dances all high and mighty. Then I explain about breathing, how loose or tight he holds the rope, how by watching her ears if she is focusing on him when she bucks, or by the flicking backward and tail clamping is there something underneath her that because she is jumping and pitching her little fit while he does nothing but stare. Allow her to be in charge, all because of his uncertainty from being such a new novice to handling horses.
The entire session is about relaxing, being confident, calm, assertive, and comfortable no matter what goods she tries to sell him. Finally the last thirty minutes, he gets so sure of his ability. He can get her to go from walk, to trot, to walk, to lope, to stop…just by her following his voice and his body stance. He is happy, improved, and comfortable. His boss is grinning, cause she knew this filly was going to be nice, and she knew her handler was the right one for this job and getting better every day. I grin, I get paid and head to the bank to find out what gives with my card.
There is an enormous unknown debt, I talk to the banker, get out some cash from the deposit, get fuel, groceries and head home. My mind is tracing back over the last couple of weeks and times that I used the card. A couple of thoughts cross my mind, but I am waiting for her call back. When she does, she explains I will have to cancel the card, come in fill out a fraud report, and get a temporary one tomorrow. I begin reflecting, where this has come from, while at the same time my mind is honing down the road, steps I will now implement in the future. As I am constructing my future ideas, I suddenly just start laughing at how great this is to happen now, while I only have small amounts of funds in my bank. Allowing me to pre-pave new habits, before the big stashes of cash arrive…I so love my life!.