This Morning I Just Had To Write…
Having succeeded in having all of it untangled, except the clump, sitting in the very center of my back, just out of sight and reach, but I could feel it constantly bumping me, knowing I was almost there, just a little bit further. When I got up, walked in the bathroom, got my sharp little gray and yellow scissors and decidedly just cut off the mess exactly above the knot. To find my hair suddenly clean, thick, lush, alive, bouncing right above my shoulders now in plain view, a luscious brownish red, swishing in an angled cut toward my back. When the phone rings and it’s my hair guru, checking about my appointment for Wednesday. He is gay, so much fun, laughing and cutting up with me about keeping this appointment so he can help me finish fixing the mess (this is in the dream, I don’t have one in real life, yet). I tell him what I have done, how great my hair feels, except for the oddness of the angle. He just laughs says it’s about time, to be there at 10 Wednesday and he will assist with the finishing touches, so my hair will look perfect no matter how it is viewed. I am feeling so enthralled with how great my hair now feels, how much lighter, alive, flowing and sensuous, I just can hardly wait for the few minor things to complete my new, freer look!
Woke up on time, really enjoying the feeling the dream left. Understanding everything except how important the appointment feels for next Wednesday at 10am, nothing is on my schedule yet, but you can bet I am leaving that entire morning open. I am amused with myself, as I get showered, dressed, organized, whilst my youngest volunteers to put the package in the truck for my bus aide, and then “asks” if I will teach him how to start the truck. All this offering and asking, I am so jazzed as we head off to work. It is a truly cold, wet, morning, but I am excited because for the first time in a week the clouds are truly far above the ground, much like my spirits of relief over all this discovery of me being true to me. I continue driving, all the while my mind, as if suddenly free from some large set of blinders, is suddenly imagining, day dreaming, pulling up and putting together tons of old memories, ideas and fantasies. Which at the time many of them occurred to me, I kept pooh, poohing myself for such crazy, wild, delicious imaging’s… how or why would any of those kinds of wonders happen to me.
I now feel the rush of excited anticipation of the things that are about to manifest all around me. I now know, that all of this big, huge, major sense of struggle these last few years, was the struggle of me, letting go and getting out from under everyone else’s ideas and opinions of me, about me, for me and for whatever I am currently doing, thinking, considering, or deciding. I love finally feeling how all of these ideas, dreams, and imaginings really are logical and have a true basis in the very heart of me. As I drove, the pieces which at one time felt so completely unrelated, suddenly started to almost magically begin to take form. Ideas on how all of this fits began to take shape in my mind, like a kaleidoscope of images, easily, simply falling into place. I finish my route, hurrying home to feed, write, and enjoy the expected first call of the day.
Which begins and ends amidst much laughter as the college councilor finally admits, that all of the Universe screw ups with the computer “again” today. Really might just be about me lining all of this up for some future date. Plus allowing her to truly experience the Law of Attraction in action, she laughingly suggesting my direction being in public speaking, since I had her laughing, learning, and enjoying the entire conversation. All the while my hands and feet are growing colder, when the phone rings with counselor number two. There are more than several interruptions, this site won’t let me log in at all. Finally I realize and know that this particular college is not an option I will be pursuing. I so love my body for giving me the heads up, or should I say “hands and feet” notice! Either way, all and all this is such a terrific feeling Friday. I love my life, I love writing, I love teaching, training, sharing, communicating with everything in my world.