Letting Go Of The Struggle

Youngest home late last night, after 9:30 when
I retire to be able to drive, but he did walk in to find instructions about being ready, on his own, when I leave at 5:20. I woke up, got ready, tried to walk through the house to just start my truck, and then go get my coffee. Leave him to figure things out, but the guilty mom snuck up, grabbed me, forced me to walk to his room door and state I was leaving. Where the struggle began, him begging me to wait, help him find all his stuff. I started to and then argh… made my coffee, told him to call me when he got to the bus yard. I was now late, I was leaving!
I got to the yard, aggravated with myself, started my bus, asked to be notified when he showed up. It was 32 degrees and the bus mechanic, said I was mean. I stated my son is now 14, he is 6 foot tall, plays football and it is only 2 miles from the house to the bus yard. I drive worrying, annoyed, and hoping/sort of knowing I did the right thing.
At 6:05 I get a call on the radio my son has arrived. I breathe. At 7:05 they call again to say he has left the barn to walk the 4 blocks to school. I will get through this.
Go buy feed, come unload feed, feed all the animals and get out my equipment to ride. Still reminding myself I can do this. Spy my contracts sitting on desk that need to be updated… the next thing I know I have completely re-done them, and started a redraw on my logo. Feeling really good with all of this organizing and creativity, check my email and read the post from others at the Challenge. Cool one about my last name Friske and nickname Cat. A couple of suggestions about my logo, now feeling much better I go to ride, five horses, and all of them struggling a little (I keep breathing and they get better) till we find the place of openness and understanding.
The UPS guy drops off my late Christmas order, my new card arrives, a lot to play with for later this week. I go back to work, noticing all the silence as I drive with my regular phone down and the new temporary one has no music. I get my mind almost back to peaceful as my afternoon run is done. Just in the going to get my son I can feel myself preparing to defend myself before I even talk to him. Making for a spewing off of the new rules so that I have a life, he has a life, we will find a middle ground.
I meander in here to write, check off he volunteered to fix supper. I am tired, I am going to figure this out, not all at once but at least I have it identified. Am going to eat, watch a funny movie, take the shortest route to sleep and congratulate myself cause I kept to just frustration, creativity, and accomplish posting this… It will get better!

About irfriske

Trainer, coach, teacher, parent, writer, exploring and sharing the connection through observation of what the Universe reflects back to us in our continuing education in living, loving, and enjoying life in interacting with horses, people, and animals.

Posted on January 4, 2012, in Awareness, Competition, Frustration, Managing, releasing, Struggle. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

The Godly Chic Diaries

Smiling • Writing • Dreaming

Learning to Thrive

“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." - Carl Jung


Simple made easy! psychology love feeling emotion thought behaviour success strategy

J. Ricci Energy

From where you are now, to where you want to be

Love. Life.

It's simple, yet powerful.

Eddie Two Hawks

Seeds of peace planted within self sprout everywhere

Pam Grout

#1 New York Times best-selling author

The Creator Writings

transcribed by Jennifer Farley, ThetaHealing Instructor/Practitioner

Source of Inspiration

All is One, co-creating with the Creator

Seven Spheres

Aqua Terra Ignis et Aer


Knowledge and Happiness(K&H) multiples by dividing it. More you share, higher and bigger they grow.

Russel Ray Photos

Life from Southern California, mostly San Diego County


Conversations with the Heartmind

Simple Pleasures

Visual Poetry, Photography and Quotes


The thoughts in my head.

Cat's Place About Horses and Heart

Observations Of My Horse Handling World

%d bloggers like this: