The Permission Factor…

Talk about a wakeup call, the mechanic called, said I had dead batteries, after we had run them down trying to start my truck because it was not getting enough fuel, and he had left the charger on them. I told him no way, those are brand new batteries, he then evidently looked down discovered he had only put it on trickle charge, he would put it on full charge and get back with me. Listened to an Abe about Holistic Healing for the fourth time, and like the last 3 times it would only play till 7:01, where Jerry finally asked the right question “what was his work, after 1000 other questions in his first asking that they kept telling him it was not his business, then things took off for them and Abraham.
I headed out to ride, thinking about that answer and a memory flashed before me of being 5, running away from home, suitcase packed full of all my important things, all the way around the block to the furthest corner from the house, and just standing there defeated, cause I did not have permission to cross the street. Suddenly I see everything in my life these last few months. It’s like I have been looking for permission, how to… what to… where to… if I can… why… My entire life has been pleasing others…looking for permission to be me… Sheesh

Had to go drive, the mechanic called batteries are fine, fully charged, just need an O ring kit. I have taken my life fully back. I now give myself permission to live how, why, where, and whatever that allows me to feel good, great, happy, successful, and smile. I give permission to myself to have others be exactly as I expect, and allow myself to change those expectations in any way that works for me. Now understanding why people sometimes act exactly as I expect, no exceptions…  I understand why I got so hooked on Abraham, they never teach what to believe, just to find anyway that allows you to feel good.
Came home to pens being cleaned, troughs cleaned and full, to ride the last horse of the evening, who so tried to get me to buy into how scary my jacket was when I took it off. He and I could feel the confidence just oozing out of me. Finished with the big horse, my youngest fixed supper, while I completely re-drew, re-designed, re-wrote my business contracts and my letter head. Then cleaned off my desk, re-filed my files, last year’s all now in the oldies and the current year files waiting for the new clients to come in and fill them out.

There is so much power in finding I exactly what I have been looking for… PERMISSION… such a simple thing now that I have found it and understand… I give myself permission to succeed, love and be loved…I am so super, duper, fantastically “Jazzzed!”

About irfriske

Trainer, coach, teacher, parent, writer, exploring and sharing the connection through observation of what the Universe reflects back to us in our continuing education in living, loving, and enjoying life in interacting with horses, people, and animals.

Posted on January 5, 2012, in Excitement, Permission, Understanding. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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