Clean, Clear, Crystal, Catharsis

Walked in and asked “what’s for supper?” Which started a tailspin of words, that went on and on, about “why me, its your turn, there is nothing to eat, I don’t want that…” lots and lots of nothing buts. I let it run, I let it go, I let him talk on and on. Until it dawned on him, it was a one sided conversation. Which somehow he hadn’t noticed as my answers became less and less wordy, trickling down to finally a yes, no, uh huh… then nothing. No comebacks, no defense, kind like a pillow fight where the one who throws it, watches it hit the other, then slide to the ground. The quiet, spoke volumes…
Suddenly there he was realizing, he was in it alone to figure out. Started talking out solutions, expecting answers, help, or contributions, still nothing, until he made an actual decision to just make do with what was there. He ended up making salad, with a sausage, pasta, marinara combination. It was simple, it was good, he did all the steps, by himself.

Though the kitchen took a toll, which started with almost the same routine, I just caught myself in time for “us” to get it cleaner than when I came home. All of it made more possible with a change in my perspective, I am learning to give myself permission to allow him to rant, ramble, fumble, and then decide he is responsible to do his part. Team work, partnership, part of what makes this place a home, two people live here, two people can do so much more than one, and being allowed to make a creative mess, is doing something. Little baby steps for him learning to do it alone. Big baby steps for me, to leave him to figure it out, better when as I learn to keep my mouth closed, not respond the habitual way I use to. Breathing, sighing, as I listen for the timer on the oven, for the chocolate mint cake, I finally had to make, to taste the batter, sweetly, on my tongue… A full mouth is so much easier to keep closed! 😀
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About irfriske

Trainer, coach, teacher, parent, writer, exploring and sharing the connection through observation of what the Universe reflects back to us in our continuing education in living, loving, and enjoying life in interacting with horses, people, and animals.

Posted on January 6, 2012, in allowing, Learning, Sharing, Teamwork. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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