Ground rules … are our own. We establish what we allow or don’t, what is right or wrong for us. We learn from our experiences, when we take whatever has happened and keep turning it, until we get either a view we like, or we find what we can do differently to get the answer we seek. After my writing this morning, I went to find solutions in my favorite gold/goal mine…the horses. Starting with the biggest of my bunch, both in size and position in the herd, he is the most apt to try me. Either by moving so much into my space for attention, that it is in horse language rude and disrespectful, or acting like a spoilt brat, when he finds the first trick doesn’t work. Both of those this morning, I correctly recognized and made the right adjustments so I felt the ease of leadership. He is slowly allowing me back my expected position as in charge, head of the group, leader. The ride was easy and flowing until my trimmer arrived, when I felt him tense up, searched through myself to find I was aware of someone in the position to watch. It took some concentrated breathing to relax me and more core awareness for it to filter him to sort of relax. He managed all the patterns, actually listening for cues, and behaved in the manner that suggested I have changed, I am getting better, though I still haven’t left the peanut gallery completely out. Yet! We got out the hurting mare from yesterday. Her evaluation of some of the soreness could be contributed to her feet and the way she has been made to travel, way up on her toes like a lady in 7 inch heels, most of her life. We got through trimming all four feet, one foot needed three extra swipes with the rasp, which truly gave the mare so much needed relief. To then move on to massage, stretching, and helping the muscle that stood up each time I worked across that area, enough for the trimmer to watch it as it slowly began to release and relax. Lisa and me then began comparing notes to which parts of the various horses she was dealing with and which parts I was noticing. Both of us amused at all of the toe problems she was dealing with, my comment of “been busy walking around on tiptoes with people”. She grinned and then remarked was I aware of in my teaching format, “you have this tendency to constantly validate yourself” stop it your great. The conversation then going on about digging through the past for answers, or looking ahead for solutions, when some where right in the middle of that, we settled on looking at what was or is, to figure out what it is one wants right now in the moment. The digging for what caused it doesn’t help, but knowing how one truly feels, recognizing it, then changing how one looks to find the good or the trigger thing that sets one off. To notice it sooner eachtime, with the idea of yeah that feels like this, but I am wanting to feel like that. All and all it allowed both of us the piece/peace of still doing the scrutinizing, digging, observing, but in the constructed manner of a pile of wood thrown randomly down, looked at, then decide what is there, then reorganized into an easy to use, orderly stack.
We went to lunch, enjoyed the soup, company, and lightened conversation as we talked about the various ways we draw in information, each of us filtering in our different fashions. To come up with a very workable result that satisfies both of us. She went to her next trim, I went to drive, feeling tons lighter about my family. I desire to be treated like the important, weirdly wonderful person I am. I accept full attention, I condone being asked, I love being included because I am wanted. (That entire sentence was a work of art, I had to keep finding the thing I desire, not the old stuff…I threw out)
My son called to tell me my parts for my truck were in, from the two weeks search to find them. The fun part being originally the bill was supposed to be over $100 now that the right parts were correctly identified, the total delivered to him tomorrow is $34 . I continue driving, distracted by people pulling in front of me, then slowing down, I think, I must be going to fast in my racing mind to get things all done now. Slow my thinking, start having fun with what needs to be done, and both vehicles pulled off and turned. I love how things keep working out for me when I relax and allow!