All this tapping, going deep, finding, searching for this answer I know I need almost as much as life itself. Today was a day of exploring, working, hurting, answering, and fumbling. After coming here to my writing place for this morning’s blog copy and finding I had written it entirely on the spot, no editing, no saving in case my computer was turned off. So much wanting to get more clarity on this funny, floating, stomach clinching, realization, that at the moment has me meandering instead of getting to the clarity I received this afternoon. Let me re-start with my first lesson, whom I truly was dreading, so I tapped on clarity, understanding, and clearing any and everything associated with the ookyness I was feeling. I tapped, and talked, tapped and talked till I felt a slight tingling of an okayness about to happen. They arrived, her with a tale of her last week, him asking how his new “baby” (the horse) was doing, me explaining, showing, and demonstrating how she best could be handled. As he saddled, he asked questions that I felt my answers were not being heard, but I still gave as much information and explanation possible for each step I was taking. Knowing I was dealing with a very old personal ghost… the ghost of men who albeit listened, but I am a female, let her talk and then we will do it our way. Everything about my part of the demonstrating where and why she (the rescue horse) needed to be handled and taken care of slowly and deliberately, as they each learned and understood each other, was flawless. Then he took over, bridled her, stepped up on her, asking her to walk, but only partially listening to my suggestions. At a walk all was fine, except for trying to get him to change his way of sitting, leaning back “sigh”. Then he asked her to step up to a trot, he moved to quickly, asked much harder than she was used to. She almost darted out from under him, his leaning back, grabbing reins right, then left, pulling on her profusely, till about half way around the pen, he managed to hear me, and bring her to a trembling for both of them stop. Suddenly, he was open to what I have been teaching his wife for the last three or more years. Suddenly, I claimed my full power, explaining the why’s, the hows, the possibilities, probabilities and as true understanding became apparent in his face, his questions became practical, honest, and so very respectful. I felt the grace of true release of a big part of a very old set of memories. I became calm, compassionate, aware, and so very grateful to have allowed all of this to transpire in helping me to find his inner being meeting mine on this table of true connection. All judgment gone, in the wake of sharing one on one, no better, no worse, just people helping each other, allowing me to seek and finally find a new part of unconditional acceptance and love for another. I suddenly not only found a new way to view another, but I discovered this huge wall of self-imposed ugliness I have been holding as shield to protect the world from me. Whence it came from, is not nearly as important as is the fact I found it today, and I have the time it will take to tear it down, studying each brick and piece of mortar that was used to place it around me. Then slowly, lovingly, polishing each new wondrous, adoring, realigned, layer back in place, for me to shine from… Coolest part being, when I came back inside all the rest of today, I noticed how beautiful I have become, even dirt covered, hair skewed, and smelling like sweaty horses, I found and see the inner glow, shining out!