Just Say No…
Driving back from the meeting with DI, trying once again to wrestle where I am at to a place of understanding, I suddenly, clearly, in front of my face saw the sign that is all over all of the schools and most of the shirts people wear. “Just Say No” followed by whatever the issue is that another is trying to change or resolve in some form or fashion. Suddenly transformed to the Universe, quite obviously trying to get my attention for me to say “NO” to anything and everything that causes me to feel just the slightest off kilter, out of whack or different than what I was intending.
I mulled this over while I drove, thinking about the last few days of immersion into the now changed from backward, to stationary, and slowly revolving forward motion of the planet Mars. Aware of a huge shift internally that I have just allowed to be here as I cleaned up, cleared out, and differentiated between where I was at, what I did want, where I thought I was headed and the why of all of this.
Rewarded with total praise and appreciation from my three clients of the weekend, starting with my Saturday evening trainer in training as she rode in the strong wind, slowly feeling for each movement of her mount. I astride the short bodied Appy who had never rode in company before since most of my training is done here alone. I assisting her by showing her my body movements for her to mirror or find those for her that would cause the horse to stop, bend, flex or move in the desired direction with just her seat bones or the movement of the correct muscle.
All of this brought to an abrupt change in dialogue when her horse became to uncomfortably close for the App. I had to explain to her what I was doing while I was helping him to be okay with another horse with a rider on it, which people assume just because you are on a horse’s back that you can do anything with them. Many not being aware of all the steps that can be involved so a horse has a good start, much less horses like him whose trust has been violated. Each step has to be re-learned, taught, and evolved till it becomes okay with the horse.
Much like the other two clients both whom I was at their places, showing them how to make the most of their situations of getting the horse to do what was being asked or needed in ways that all were comfortable and on the same page with successful progress in a new direction. Pleased I can do this so easily for others on the ground or in a saddle to explain and get the desired results. Yet still on this tight rope with my own life, all over this uncomfortable place of the word no. So quietly I have waited. I say it, mean it, and still feel challenged, pushed, cornered, watching, learning, looking for direction. A new dialogue with my body, compliments of Jennifer Hough’s audios: “Breathe, look at the symptom, “Hey do you have something that my mind needs to know about this symptom”…yes or no…(feel the first answer)……. “Thank you body for taking care of it, I now step out of your way and I ask for an expanded capacity to receive what I need for this to be transmuted.” Plus a change in my life long prayer “I know I am Divinely Guided, I know I will always take the right turn in the road, I know God is making a way as I ask for the way, as I allow my Cells to guide me that way now! Tapping the entire time I do either or both.
To be guided by having boot camp call me in, over his sleeping at school yesterday, the same day I discovered he had taken and used my Ipod all night. It was interesting to just be an observer as he tried to use that he had “blacked out” until the Ipod was brought into view, and he began back pedaling on his story. Weird to just sit there, not feeling right or wrong, just aware, it’s all out on the table, there is no covering it up or going back. It is just what it is. And the signs about “just saying no” had been there all along… That’s okay, it’s all good, it will all work out. I am getting my life back one consistent step at a time!