The Long Road Back…
Been absentee from my writing, even part of my riding, do to my natural born curiosity about what else is out there. Sometimes I am drawn to investigate something because it resonates with me in some form or fashion. As of the last few years I have let the reflections of the Universe guide me.
If I go to buy something and it is not there, my card won’t work, the page on the computer does not open, or send… should anything go astray I personally feel that is the Universes way of assisting me in waiting or making another choice. Which when I listen or notice this guidance all kinds of possibilities I never even considered show up to amaze and tantalize me.
Then I have days like when my five year old student taught me how I was missing the flowers, because I was still talking about the points she needed to remember from the lesson we just had completed. She told me “the flowers are pretty and right here Miss Cat…the remembering is when I get done unsaddling and have the horse put up.” I grinned, agreed and picked the red Paint Brush flower she directed me toward as part of her “knowing” she had learned something new and was remembering each previous lesson without prompting.
I had been listening to a new audio from a speaker who I so resonated with the first time I heard her. To then be surprised with an email from a friend with more of these audio’s included for Passover. Half way into the next one, I clicked on the offer for more of this fascinating material, a really great package well within my means. Though there was just a glimmer of hesitation, followed with the thought “the Universe will either allow it or not”. Ordered, clicked send and it went right through.
The very next morning I woke up with my right knee so swollen, like when I had hurt it 6 or 7 years ago, hmmm. Did my lessons, but aware of no acknowledgement from the place I ordered from. Which when I queried them, they offered to speed it up by me repaying with a credit card. But I declined, figuring the Universe would work all of this out, which it did finally 6 days later when my bank released the funds to PayPal, and I received my additional audios which were to be played one a week for 12 weeks.
I downloaded them all, thought I set the first one up to just play through while I slept. Discovering the next morning, the computer was just finishing playing number 8 and I woke up with a raging head cold. The more I listened, and tried to understand, feeling all of this confusion from listening, which was “supposed” to happen as the audios did their thing. Doubly so, as a friend who was listening to the same stuff, was having the exact same sinus cold symptoms and irritation over what we were listening to. Each of us, basically soothing the other over and through the rough spots of ingesting this sounds so similar but in a weirdly uncomfortable way.
All brought to a head with another 5 year old student yesterday, who explained to me about owies and if it hurts to not keep doing it, “that’s just silly or pretty dumb!” I suddenly remembered an Abraham tape about Powerful Statements. “There is no gain in pain” when something doesn’t feel right to hear them in the back of my head saying “Do something else, do anything else, till the vibration shifts. Let the curse lift!” And suddenly I knew what to do, I congratulated myself on recognizing that my body knows better than anyone else what it is I need or don’t need. I have the power to listen to me, do what feels good. Spend money if I need to to find out the stove is hot when it is on. And mostly trust that God is guiding me to what feels good, because he loves me, and made me perfectly in his image of me. With this wonderful body to feel for direction and answers, amazingly coinciding with no cold this morning, gone without taking any more drugs. Swelling almost completely gone, horses all rode, another fantastic 5 year old with parents capturing her entire lesson for show and tell. With me actually easily and effortlessly getting back to writing my truths, my perceptions, my struggles, my realizations, as I realize I know the answers, as I get out from under this funny perception of who I am, by what others have suggested I should be, a habit I am slowly coming to terms with.