Trigger Words and Inflections
Awareness of change seems to be the order this month as I am learning to better trust my instincts on what feels like the next thing to do or not do. Today being an incredible example of connecting and really learning to trust my gut feeling, as I got out of bed this morning and paid attention to how each thought felt. I got up feeling comfortable, able to shower, dress, awaken my youngest and then leave for work on time. Arriving at the bus yard with this decision to park inside for a shorter walk to clock in, and thinking as I walked on in, I bet someone is going to block me in. Picked up my keys, walked back out to the bus, got in and started it to watch another drive in and park perfectly to block my truck in. I actually grinned at my innate pre-sensing of my inability to leave on my return.
Then thinking of my need to procure feed when I returned, since the local store has been out for a week, pre-planning my trip to get fuel, grab my coupons, drive 20 miles away and still return by 9. Tickled when I accomplished all by 9:08 as I pulled in next to the barn, unloaded feed, fed, and then surveyed my to do list projects. My mind’s eye settling on my youngest chore of the weekend, his 40 feet cleared “oh its so hard the ground is so dry.” Thinking I would help a little, set the timer for 20 minutes, expecting to barely make a dent, to then discover (the fibber) in my allotted time I accomplished half of what he (at 6ft 1) did in 4 hours this weekend. Adding double check all chores assigned to him to my list.
Came in for a 10 minute break to check email, to find one with a different trainer style on the latest steps I am honing with my horse handling. After a few minutes of reading her site, there is an offering for her book through Amazon. So I go to look it up as a Kindle purchase ( I love the immediate access of this way of reading) and the site froze. Taking my cue from the Universe that this is not a purchase to be made today, I go out to work with the horses, taking with me the thoughts and understanding the brief reading has brought to light. In the playing around with each of the horses I find only one useful small piece of the new information that easily takes hold and fits in, in an easier way to allow me to connect with these wondrous critters. Affirming my instincts to not struggle to buy the book, I just evidently needed reading the different approach and allow myself to integrate it and adjust it for myself.
Pleased with myself, I then find a text on my phone from a former client, asking if I need any help, followed by her needing lessons. I allow myself the time to feel my first response, which is unsettled, so I re-read her text, send back a general things are great here, with no reference to unsolicited help. Several texts back and forth, finally net me two or more lessons at full price. I so love the freedom of allowing oneself to think things through, before responding that texting brings. Fascinated by the words; Needing, help, and her name. Realizing they are all triggers from a few years back, that would have used to cause me to aid someone from their sounding needy, and I “was” such a great rescuer. Just now I prefer to see others as capable, able to afford the things they truly desire, and myself as a totally affordable, “fantastic, you have an opening, great I will be there” coach!
It’s all in the timing, the way things appear, the way things feel, the choices we make. And I am so getting better at all of this…Things always, work out for me!