Common Horse Sense…
This morning was a piece by piece, pay attention, what did I truly see or want to do next. Noting as I slept through the first alarm to then actually get up with the second alarm and so feeling the tiredness of knowing I have only 5 more mornings of school bus driving left. Aware of how much I am looking forward to setting and owning my own hours again. Showered, ironed, dressed, and ready at about the same time I heard my youngest start the truck. Spying the light on from the not quite closed door of the microwave reminded me of the fresh brownies from last night. I quickly made my morning ice water, grabbed a paper plate and set two good sized helpings on it and went out to the truck. My son spotting the plate said he had thought about grabbing one, eyeing my plate hungrily. I smiled in appreciation of his not grabbing or asking, and explained the second one was for him. He quickly devoured it, mouthing his thank you’s as we drove up to work.
Driving my route was a simple enjoyment of the sunrise, the ease of traffic, which only built up as we neared San Antonio and 7 am. Dropped off the students, did the turnaround headed back to the barn. As I sensed a stop was in order, which just as I had that thought my monitor got up to ask me to stop for a break. Drove back in remembering the thought to check my fluids, and filling the one that turned out to be low, pleased with myself for this roll of inspired thinking I was on.
Got to the house to get the morning chores done with my mind playing with my new understanding of the phrase “What did I want to do?” So as I was getting out my equipment for later I noticed the lower pasture, so following my gaze I took a walk and as I was checking it out I discovered a busted fence strand. So I closed the gap to keep the horses out till later when it could be repaired. Then headed to the house, so very aware of my short night from staying up to watch a movie, aware of how very much I needed, much less wanted a nap.
Walked in to notice a picture I had laid on the shelf and a perfect blank place on the wall. A little glue, piece of tape, and a tack to easily add a little more color to my office as I hung my fixed picture in its new spot. Set the alarm for 45 minutes, laid down to awaken to its noise knowing I “wanted” more sleep, so just ignored it to startle fully awake feeling like it had been an hour or more. To find just fifteen minutes had past, in the blissful thoughts from my last lesson of the yesterday evening. As this student was describing to me the horse he wishes to acquire: Gelding, about 16 hands, healthy, comfortable, safe for trail rides, and for kids…”All the kids in me” he exclaimed! I got so tickled as I realized how important and true those words are or should be for all of us.
Inspired by this thought I felt the need to clean under the dryer? Hmmm… okay so I did to net myself the money for drinks and a snack later. Then deciding I wanted to just play with my ponies, I walked out to change my working order and brought out the little mare who seemed stiff, uncertain, testing my conviction to just have fun. So I waited, for each tiny move I expected as I asked, I stood and waited till she did exactly what I was suggesting. Each of the first few movements took ten minutes or more, she so sure she had my number by moving in several different directions waiting for the release because she moved. Till with getting no response from me, she actually began to search for what I was so focused on expecting. Once she did exactly the right baby step movement in the general direction of the outcome intended, I let go. Within 30 minutes, all of the stiff, resistance was gone and she was actually waiting for what I would want next and we danced…
I would suggest with a move of a muscle in my finger, my leg, my calf, even just a twitch in my posterior and we would then glide. Left, right, sideways, back, forward, trot, walk, canter any and all movements soft, flowing, easy. Because I trusted what I wanted, I asked if she was a willing participant, and I rewarded her and me for every try in the intended direction. Kind of my whole morning in listening to, feeling for, or truly deciding and then focusing on “What it was I wanted?” And I use to think it was all about the end result…not the journey of discovery of how to get where one is going.
So fascinated with the powerful energy that is pulled through me when I go for what I want, versus the struggle of doing what I am not wanting to do. Causing me to realize all of these seeming outside, around me problems, are really just me against me. Doing what I want is simple ease and flow. Doing what I don’t want to do, but should, could, have to, ought to for another, cause it’s the norm, I will fit in, it’s the way it’s been done for years… Who knew it really is just so simple… Ah living and learning one moment, one minute, one now at a time!