I keep finding it, and then losing it.
Posted by irfriske
I keep finding it, and then losing it. I have this perfect grasp on what is going, so fully connected, to then get sort of sideswiped. Which actually is pretty great, considering a year or more ago I would have described it as getting blindsided, I am so appreciative of my having come so far. Today being a terrific example: Slept in till 6:27 knowing on my to do list was to go to the other tractor store for the bolt for the lawnmower blade, since Tractor Supply was out of the size I needed minutes before closing last night. I took a shower, my son got up and fed to then asked for his desires from the donut shop. I set off on my mission to finally get the mower repaired now that the twisted off bolt had successfully been removed yesterday. Got the bolt, the donuts, some gas, groceries and ice, came in unloaded and put away everything. We ate our goodies, then went out back to put the mower back together, and wouldn’t you know it the key way part was sheared in two. Quick trip back to town, to no avail, all the time thinking I so wanted my yard and front pasture done this weekend. How hard is that? What else can I do? It’s been seven different broken parts or repairs on a brand new machine since March. About then my youngest offered to go ask the neighbor, I said sure why not? Not expecting anything, to be amazingly surprised when he comes back driving their new machine. Of course he had a deal in mind, he would get to go play with his buddy if he got all the weeds picked up, the front yard, the drive way and part of one pasture, plus all his regular chores. I said sure, if they were done right. Off he went to cut, as my first lesson drove up with their horse’s head looking a funny shade of yellow medicine. They backed her off the trailer and she immediately let me know touching her owie was out of the question, which set the tone for exactly what the entire lesson consisted of. Us asking, slowly, confidently, and consistently for her to allow us to touch her neck, then nose, then head, till after an hour, without the need for rope or halter, she was allowing us to massage, then doctor, and clean up the slight scrape on her face. Allowing her owners to finally be able to handle all of her head, neck and face without her having to be bribed, coerced, or tricked into working with her new owners, in a whole different way than her previous experiences. My next lesson was a little girl, with her horsey aunt, cousin, and friend, who had all come to watch. The aunt to see her progress, the others (I suspect had to come) my student more interested in the free for all in the yard the aunt kept having to quiet down, than the lesson and the horse. Being five and not the center of attention was not going real well, till I got her started downhill, away from the all the commotion, where she was getting to move and enjoy managing the little mare. To have my son come up, ask to speak, and then stating he was done and could he go? I questioned did he have it all done right? With an affirmative, I let him go so I could finish my lesson. We did a few spins, turns, and backups, but the hour long session at one in the sun was getting to be too much, thankfully the time was up. We headed back for her to untack, and then wash the horse, definitely enjoying the overspray. After they left, I took a turn on the lawnmower to discover all of the newfangled safety controls to protect the operator and the equipment. Adapting to the annoying habit of the mower if it got even a tad over what it could handle with what felt like (and was) very dull, and abused blades. It would kick down to idle. I drove, tinkered, and played with the feel of it, figured out the ins and outs of how to actually accomplish at least the front part of my top pasture. Before I decided this taking it precisely, exactly, perfectly, carefully….sucked, I was out doing what my son had promised. I was taking care to make it look pretty, nice, neat, professional, whatever you want to call it, for a pasture we ride in. I found a high gear I could manage, and took off, I started heading just for the high spots, the clumps, letting myself look at the bigger picture. Eyeballed the section I was on, how much time I had till my next client, broke the area into eighths, and did all but one fourth of the top. Hot, exhilarated and aware that unless one got down on their knees to look across the riding field, except for weedeating, my riding area was done. I was pleased. So I parked it, went in, washed up, refilled my drink, just as my last lesson showed up. We had fun, she learned to get more from the horse by asking, waiting, allowing, and having the patience to let the horse understand she really has learned what to do. As we were unsaddling and finishing up I thought how most of the day spoke to me about the few missing pieces in my life. Allowing others to wait till it is convenient for me, to have fun, not be distracted, to look at the bigger picture, go fast as I can, once I understand what I am working with. That I truly want people in my life who are fun and fully responsible for themselves, all of their actions, and not be distracted by what others want, it really isn’t any of my business. I think I love being a happy brat!