Two Steps and Standing…
Awareness of another in an entire new spectrum of understanding, just by allowing myself to find the best feeling view of the scenario presented in front of me. The day after feeling I had truly re-wove my tapestry of how I choose to live my life. I know I partially started on Saturday morning when I chose to purposely wake late after my first week back bus driving, riding and teaching. Giving myself the luxury of actually lying in bed totally enjoying the peacefulness of an alarms silenced moments before they intended to go off. I just laid there enjoying the comfort of my decision to mold my life moment by moment.
Then actually arising, feeding, haying, watering and reveling in the animals appreciation of my tending to their various needs as I experienced the coolness still found happily at 7:30, as I fixed on my to do list of this holiday weekend. I made a point to linger in the shower, luxuriating in the foam of lather from a very sudsy deep purple wash cloth, then the wonderfully sensual scent from the coconut crème rinse as the aroma was saturating the shower area in the strong flow of elegant hot water. I was so enjoying the vision of my being selecting the most wonderful feeling scenes for each moment of the day. Stepping out to engulf myself in my oversized, big fluffy towel that wonderfully whisked off each droplet, before coming to rest turban style above my head with hair comfortably enclosed. Hair dryer to style my bangs, pull the rest into a quick pony tail, sunscreen, makeup, taking the time to accentuate my eyes, before I pulled on my shades and my sweat stained lilac ball cap to complete the feeling I wanted to exude.
Heading to the kitchen for toast, lime water, and my Emergen-C as I headed out to greet my expected three clients, plus two other unexpected sons and their one horse. Making it a point to allow my eyes to take in the entire picture playing out before me as my eyes settled on the view that brought a feeling of “I like that” to my solar plexus. To then truly begin the new path of choice over reaction I had found so different and comfortable in the last few weeks of changing and letting go of “other peoples opinions” as I now deliberately allow myself to find how life works when I choose for me…first.
The situation that presented itself was 5 individuals, each with a difference, each allowed to be who they chose to be. All here for horse handling lessons, all at different levels, interests and abilities, my lesson was to keep my focus on the one most interested, asking questions, wanting to learn, and allowing each to show where they were in their understanding or capability. To then guide by hands on, voice, example, or situation as I played with their listening, and accomplishing to encourage and allow them to stand on their own two feet and successfully put each piece together.
Noting some chaos from those who sought center stage, just allowing others in the group the energy needed to redirect those members. As I kept my focus on the ones inhaling the information shared. Totally delving into the ones who could so enjoyed getting their hands and self into their deepest desires to have each question answered. The wonder of the deep breaths, bright eyes, and hands that were feeling for the answers my words were describing, as they sought with their bodies, and fingers for the desired result from such a wonderfully patient horse. I was so reveling in each moment as the freedom from constraints of being made to feel wrong, were loosed from me and these enjoyably entertaining students.
The one hour lesson turned into two, extended by the eldest asking me about his interest in roping and my other long ago, laid down passion brought out from the dusty roping bag hanging in the rafters. To then become totally involved in breaking down each little step of holding, coiling, handling, moving, touching, and throwing the rope till he had a real feel for several aspects of the sport I sense has been idling in his mind for a while. I indulged myself, by following the questions I felt or sensed in each willing participant. Allowing others in the group the ability to find their own two feet to handle each and every oddity that tried to take away from the fun the larger part of the group was experiencing. Fascinated with how different and fun everything turned out by only dealing with what I chose to keep my focus on.
Now, forty-eight hours later, I feel and realize this is such a much easier way to live. It truly is okay to only find the best feeling thing to look at. I can turn my head away from the commotion, deal with the fun things and the world really does keep spinning. Someone else really does show up to handle the other stuff. I really can redirect conversations to things I enjoy, say no to what I don’t want, and live for me. All the other things take care of themselves as I let others deal with their things. Looking at someone and seeing them as possible… sure makes life easier and a whole lot more fun.