I Am So Freaking Awesome!!
Okay I love all of you for your responses, care and support… I have such an incredible new view on the entire path I have been on in this life. Learning one totally incredible, important lesson… No one is bad or mean or whatever… another would choose to label it, because we as people have such a limited view. One of the examples I use when explaining how someone could do whatever another judges as wrong is… If you grow up in a house where stealing and lying is the only thing you are exposed to as the way life is… it is not wrong…it is life. Unless you learn or experience “through the path of least resistance” some other way, and decide it “feels, looks, or seems better” and make the choice to choose otherwise…It is what it is. It is always a choice. Usually to me, three choices: to just be exactly how you are, become much worse, or much better… making a decision, following a desire, or going for a dream. Those are all choices, and without some kind of contrast, we have no way of knowing there are choices.
Until I would come across something that was such a bigger drive or desire than what I was told was right or I was suppose to do. I just helped, existed, lived and thrived in the situation I was in.
At 12 I stood up to my father, for my dog, I bought with my money I had earned, when she was 3 months of age my father was going to send her away to be trained to hunt with his money. I REFUSED, I wouldn’t budge, couldn’t be reasoned with, bribed, yelled at, or intimidated in any way to allow them to send my dog away. I told them I would do it my self, and I did but she wouldn’t hunt for him.
I found a power in standing up for my dog, I did not know! It makes me the incredible person I am now. My parents did the best they could with the understanding and experiences they grew up with and was taught to them. To raise a family, to live life, to expand and grow within the limited sphere of available knowledge at the time.
There is so much expansion in the world today that keeps expanding at an ever increasing incredible rate. People back then, and still now in some places, are taught what is right by the standards of their churches, their schools, their associations and associates mostly because standing out takes “quoting Betty White A brass vagina”
Blame and the excuses so many have been given is so much easier, blame the world, its because I have this problem, there is something wrong with me or the world so I cannot move forward. BS I constantly am blessed with the discoveries of the layers of everyone else “that I consciously allowed” from fear, learning and being taught fitting in was everything!
Not anymore, now when I write I do so to sort the latest place I find myself in. Many times extremely fascinated with how I will have an entire blog in my head, to find mere smidgens of it actually on the page. But all of that is okay, I usually need what appears just as much as the people who read and share with me their recognition in reading my words.
I love each and everyone who finds their way to my blogs. I know you have found your way here when you asked so poignantly to God, the Universe, or Source some question with such huge desire for an answer that it led you here to read and have show up in your own mind either “the answer” or parts of an answer that may take you to the desire you cherish more than you might even know to set yourself free to be you. Exactly like you are, tye died, green hair, blue jeans, boots, a nose picker, beer drinker or sweet tea, a cocktail, diet food or fast food. You have just this immense desire to be totally who you are and are now willing to fully claim it.
Because I am! The little me, always has loved horses, animals, outside, the dirt, blue jeans, boots, cowboys, sharing, teaching, trying something different, having fun, and experiencing the moment… I bless each of you to follow or find that feeling inside you!