To Find One’s Passion…
Seems like a such a big or even huge obstacle to so many people. They read books, articles, how to do’s and the like. Yet seem so stymied to find or latch onto what that may be for them. In this last week of sorting through the myriad of stories about my own weekly journey, caused me to really watch, pay attention and notice so many tiny details into what was easy, felt good, and my energy just bounding all over the place. Compared to the times and the day I felt like all I wanted to do was climb back in bed and bury myself deep in sleep.
Only problem with that is… I love my life when it flows, zings, zips and amazes me, enough so that I decided I could unearth this occasional stuckedness. Especially since one of the ladies at the retreat kept telling me how lucky I was, how much she wished she knew what her passion was, and what could or should she be doing to figure it out.
Luckily for her she had already done what I always explain are the simple rules for me working with or helping any one:
1. The only bad question…is the one you don’t ask.
2. Ask for ideas (which create possibilities)… not opinions (which to me box one in)
3. For us to work together it has to be fun for my client, their horse and for me.
4. At the end of each session the client is expected to have improved ¼ of an inch per lesson.
5. They have had to felt like they learned something that is applicable to them and their situation
6. They have plenty to take with them to mull over, and when they are ready, they want to learn more.
7. Lastly they are expected to always ask me or anyone else: Why are they supposed to do whatever is suggested? Then have whoever suggested it to show them how! Be willing to say no if whatever is suggested is uncomfortable in any fashion, though the thought may be stored in their toolbox of possibilities for some other time.
So I paid attention. Noticed the nuances of fun, excitement and energy flowing through me, compared to the contrast of feeling tired, exhausted and even nauseated at the thought of moving just a little. Kept my attention focused on the answer showing itself. When I began to truly notice little things right out of my direct gaze, to find myself being led or guided by my peripheral vision. It is one of the wonders the horses have taught me to be more aware of.
Seems when we look so hard at what is right there in front of us to see… we miss the stuff that is right out of the corner of our eye. Ever walked through a room going to do something, and caught site of something just on the way to where you are headed, that answered some question you had asked earlier and sort of forgot about for that moment. Then as you are easily accomplishing what is now your focus, you spot something else which makes the way to do what you originally intended easier, simpler and more satisfying… thus accomplishing two things at once.
I have had tons of stuff manifesting all over the place as I learn to more and more get out of the way of “having’ to do something, instead just let my intuition, my peripheral vision, and my gut guide me. Which puts me in such an inspirational writing, living, loving, sharing and being just me mood! Then it hit me about the energy ups and downs that so allow me to be so passionate one moment and so blah the next.
I had read and been told that one’s passion is something one can do 24 hours a day, be as enthused to do it when one gets started, as one is when one finishes, ready to start all over at the next opportunity, will do it whether they are paid or not, and always wanting to learn more. My passion is something I have known since I was small… horse crazy since I can remember. Just with only me to pursue the desire, nurture, keep alive away from the naysayers and support my dream in my head…( long story for later, but I did not get my first horse till I was away at college. Not all are that lucky to have such a desire go above and against what others saw me being and hang on to it for dear life.)
But this week I discovered the up places in my energy when I was not playing with anything horse related, just my life related. Give me an idea, let me spy something that needs to be fixed, could be changed to be easier to do or understand,or get a hunger for some particular dish. And I come alive. My mind racing with creativity, desire, passion, adventure… as I allow the creator in me to not settle for what another would do, say or feel. I find this amorous, hungry, sensual creature, who prowls at any event that causes me to just sit… I want to participate… get my hands in the clay… make something, create a new form, find a new way, or eat a favorite dish in a new way. Doesn’t matter, but oh talk about being alive and passionate.
Even in cleaning, I have discovered the passion of order, newness, and simplicity of accomplishment by allowing myself to feel each step and do that which feels easiest and next, or rearrange everything for more ease and flow. Especially after my down evening yesterday, after completing fixing all the fences on the place and I walked into to try to move off the level of the game I have been stuck on for weeks. To find my energy just draining into a pool of yuck, a cold drink, nope not even half, my stretches, nope tired. Finally gave up and went to bed early, though I thought several times of writing but…
That is the long pause, as I felt the trapped in my thoughts of I might not be good enough, that put me to bed early. Thank God for sleep, long hot soapy showers, and my listening to my internal niggling as I readied for and then drove my route. Passion, energy, aliveness is creating something, anything that causes a rush…not a have to or a must. Just wicked, wonderful, recognized for selfsame desire , it is what I am… a capable, crazy, happy, creator … just like God wants us all to be! Free to be…Me, to change, become, create, breathe every moment in. Helping myself and others to find their connection to their dreams, ideas, adventures and life!