My Truth to Manifesting…
This is my understanding of the last 7 years of searching every corner of my world… for me. With some incredible ups and downs to finally arrive at a place today I have been awakened to many times in my life. Some awakenings were extremely abrupt, painful, and physical. Other times the blows were just huge emotional disasters… all of those were attached to my personal worth/value which at first seemed tied to my finances, business, or family. Where always I would get to some place emotionally where the only place left to turn was inside…after I tried all of the rest of the ideas, plans and information that was present at the time to fix what was wrong.
Thankfully I would get worn down, tired and finally go with in. I would have some truly incredible awakenings, all of them now in looking back, always pointing to the same answer from several totally different views of the exact same answer of “unconditional love”. Which then I would try and continue to live and feel what I had learned.
I would get going again, then right back to the bottom to start over. Search, struggle, read, work, sweat, change, always wonderfully helping so very many others, but still sensing there was more to this, as I would then get glimpses of my deepest desire… and off I would go running after it and not taking the time to check in with my inner being.
The last few weeks have been this incredible journey in trusting my inner self. Which through the teachings of Neville, TUT, Abraham, and a whole slew of others, coming at me from so many directions faster than I could ask the next question in my search to know the truth about me and life.
Wonderfully aware of the many signs, symbols, and indications from the Universe that God was still directing me. I would just get so caught up in trying to do “it” (whatever the current flavor of teachings that was on my plate) that I would stop the conversations with myself. Floundering along, solidly studying, listening, and working at getting this new thing right, perfect, and polished, only then to fail to feel truly okay.
I was great at being a detail artist, a photo copier; an actress playing the part to make everybody happy, as I gave the right answers to see that others were taken care of and that they felt okay, too. Then I read a sentence on a page that caused me to pause, igniting the ember that still glowed inside. Today a post that caused the flicker of a flame that lapped at my heart, asking “are you listening?” I stayed with it, going slowly, feeling for the next question to ask, which “Okay God, now what?”
Another piece of information, slowly savored, then carefully asked “And… God? ” Till question by question, answer by answer… I found what I have been searching for “being honest to and with myself over what it is “I” truly desire” and the answer shocked me. Because I have been writing to myself for years, just in my sharing what I have written with others, I have allowed the comparison of another’s response to my sharing, to cause me to edit me to fit in.
This whole problem of manifesting my desires has all been sidetracked by my not staying honest and true to me. In a nutshell its these words I found just an hour or so ago:
Manifest Your Destiny
Know the condition between manifesting your heart’s desire and unconditional love. Unconditional love is the energy of the universe; it is what God is, and, therefore, what you are as well. Without your connection to this love, you lose your connection to the creative process.
You cannot attract to yourself that which you are already connected to if you short-circuited the connection. The presence of unconditional love is in all things that you wish to attract as well as in you. Keep it honest, and you keep your ability to know that ye are a god. Lose it, and you lose your godliness. It is that simple.
Remind yourself of this when you ask why your desires aren’t showing up in your life. The answer will invariably have something to do with an absence of unconditional love some place in your inner world.
A while ago I found a poem I wrote 7 years ago this month that I stopped when driving down the road to write it down. Instead of letting it guide me by letting me know what I desired was coming to me. I proceeded to go out and make the words fit each and every circumstance that looked like a possibility…Never, ever, ever, listening to the words I was saying to myself in my mind: “I can do this. I can work with this. This is okay, its close!”
I had gotten incredibly good at being anything and everything but “Honest With and Listening to Myself!” I had learned to do what I was told it was supposed to take to be me, by listening to everyone else but me! God made me in his image…of me!
Lesson learned when you desire something, really flesh it out…with yourself, for yourself, and by yourself. Then allow the Universe, God, or Divine Providence to guide you to allowing it to show up. Should an idea come to you that it is so strong that wild horses couldn’t stop you… Go for it! If you get just an urge, write it down. Trust yourself, for you are the only inhabitant of your body. Talk to yourself and listen to the conversations you have with yourself… ALL OF THEM! Start changing the ones that don’t feel good, improve the others and keep the rest! Feel crazy doing it…then don’t tell anyone till after the desire comes true! I Am only me and I Am Amazing!!