The Mirror Reflections…
Awakening this morning to do my meditation I discovered my body refused to cooperate. As it kept up this constant barrage of physical sensations until I stopped trying what I was mentally attempting to do for mediation and asked my body to show me. Let me know what it would prefer as I hastily re-adjusted the pillow for a flatter one. Suddenly finding this memory flood my mind about how warm my therapist’s hands would get when she was doing massage and body manipulations during my sessions.
I then took and placed my palms together; rubbing them until they felt warm and I could gently separate them to feel the flow of energy between them, followed with the immediate thought to place my hands upon my face. Suddenly finding as I did this, there was this soft glow of white light between them that slowly covered my face and then encompassed the rest of me. To find as I lay there enjoying the warmth and the light how much of my world is communicated to me through so very many of my senses. My thoughts suddenly revealing that what is taught even in meditation is not always accomplished the same way for everyone. The awareness of the difference between each and every one of us, once more on my plate for me to contemplate as I came aware and awakened for my day.
When I stepped into the bathroom I discovered the message I had been awakened to in the middle of the night, scrawled in big red letters across my mirror “skin is supposed to be touched”. Knowing full well the dream that had awakened me to all of the beliefs that are taught on how to delicately and carefully protect and take care of our skin. Fully aware of the horses I brush and how if I use light soft strokes, to just brush though the hair or pat them on the skin, they swish their tails and pin their ears as I am just more of an aggravation than a welcoming. Though when I reach in to find their muscles, truly manipulating the blood and the skin into warm, inviting strokes to stimulate the flow of energy through all the hair, tissues, and skin, I find them leaning back into me to position their bodies so that I do not miss a truly needy spot.
The phone rings bringing me from my thoughts. It is my friend who had called me earlier about her horse who had been still so lethargic, uncomfortable and running a slight fever, after spending the day before at the vet then sent home because she was fine there after the last few days of this on and off symptoms of worry, discomfort and fever. She was thanking me as the mare was doing so much better today. After I had driven over to her place last night for our conversation as I was checking her horse. When I began questioning what had changed or happen in her personal life in the same time frame that the horse had begun showing all of these symptoms.
On Monday with the start of the New Year after the holidays all were in high hopes over this new semester, when everyone in their office discovered what had become of all the promises made at the end of last year. Nope, they were still stuck with non-compliance, no one with any real interested in changing, helping out or any signs of care or concern with the programs they had all been expecting to get off the ground. The frustration, the feeling stuck and having to stuff their feelings, aggravation and the lethargic reactions from administration. All matching perfectly with her horse’s behavior and symptoms as I began to match the dots for her. I just asked her what she truly desired with her life. This began to come out in bits in pieces though she kept trying to distract me back to her worrying about if she was doing the enough of the right things for her horse.
Finally she began to open up about herself. Her dreams, her ambitions, and this long schedule of putting it all on hold for 4 more years…because of saving enough money, promises to relatives, waiting for retirement, etc. etc. And I dropped the bomb on her when I asked “What if someone was to come along and offer you the funds, the job, the circumstances for all this to happen right now. Would you take the job?” She looked at me like had I lost my mind… “Of course I would!” So I said: call back the waitress with your last order and put in that order to God instead, and let him figure it all out.
There was this audible sigh from the horse, and from her. She got the thermometer and rechecked her horse…the temperature had dropped back to normal, she looked at me. “This is crazy, I knew I needed to call you a week or so ago, but I didn’t want to bother you…”
I told her “Same here, as I had thought about her, just didn’t trust my thought”. We are taught what to do from the time we are very small. I am this morning truly aware of several of these rules: Don’t touch, don’t do it that way, don’t ask for help, don’t do it unless you have permission, don’t expect it to be easy, etc., etc, etc. and my favorite one of all “Don’t Ask Why, because someone else said so!”
I keep listening and feeling for my almost every thought now. I have discovered there is so much more to me and my connection to life than just the breath I breathe. My feelings come from the over a million cells that make up my body. They are now allowed to have full rein in my ability to have an incredible life by choosing with all of me what it is I truly desire for me. When I ask, listen, feel and go within to find some part of me will confirm if I am living for me, as me, with me… or for something or someone on the outside.
Best part of all as I assist another to figure out what “their” desire/dream truly is from underneath the litany of rules, beliefs and opinions of others. I feel my bliss in knowing that what I sense in another who comes to me wanting change and seeking answers. It always comes down to listening to what a person is saying that is preventing them from trusting their own unique signature and styles of life as I help them in finding who they truly desire to become, always mirrored in the stories they tell.