This Or… Something Better…
Interesting the turns one’s life takes, when we allow the Universe to work with us, instead of us working and struggling alone trying to get it all done… right NOW! This morning being a perfect example of the way life can be when we ask, believe, and get out of our beliefs of this is the only way it can happen or be.
I have been juggling the last few months with my trying so many unsuccessful ways to move forward… “now”, “quickly” with my stubborn attempts to free myself from this old feeling of stuckedness. As I tried, schemed, planned and determined what the “it” was I was stuck in, with the added complication (in my minds way of thinking) of my body’s occasional shenanigans of various nicks, scratches, minor pains and some downright breath taking falls. All in my stubborn determination to “get it done” and over with this time once and for all.
Solidly going through my self-determined path of how and what “it” was going to be. Finding interesting, tantalizing, and annoying side roads that made the newest espied discovery, a possible quicker fix to getting me out of my own confusion of how and what the problem was, that this newest presentation, ad, or suggestion present in front of me promised would whisk me to my desired goal right NOW.
All in all a great way to spend my time running in circles of doing, trying, listening to and trusting “all” of this outside stuff to be more important than the path my inner self was trying to guide me on when this newest tempting suggestion would suddenly appear. Such a great game of cat and mouse, without me actually having to slow down to fully believe and trust in all of me, all of the time.
As I look back on how easily I have been swayed to look anywhere outside of me and yet still not trust or feel the tiny, fleeting sense of doubt that was throwing up the red flags at whatever was present was just a “tiny ant trail” not the main path for me to go. Until came the moment I was spinning in the air from being “bucked off” one of my own horses. Where I became aware of how all of my choices of moving so mentally quickly, flashed through my mind as I was somersaulting to the ground. I could look back in slow motion to the point in time where I had failed to fully cinch up my saddle, as my mind was not in that moment but a full hour ahead rushing to my next appointment.
The last few weeks since then I have made several trips to my chiropractor to adjust the various parts of my anatomy that took the opportunity of this latest incident to get me to really slow down and listen to my body and how I feel God communicates with me. First with my ribs being out, I had to learn to take things really, really slow, for every breath was a fully conscious experience as I expanded and contracted my healing ribs. My hip allowed me to find how to truly, slowly feel and enjoy each movement in my daily stretches that I use to just do, to be done, checked off the list, not relish and attempt to stretch a little further every time to become more flexible. To finally my neck, which woke me up yesterday so stiff, sore, and unyielding in its almost bringing me to tears of desperation as I knew it was Sunday and no one local available for me to go to for an adjustment.
So I stretched, very slowly, very deliberately, fully involved with what my muscles could tolerate, feeling, sensing, listening and tuning in to me… The thought blinked in my mind’s eye to look up video on YouTube on how to pop my own neck after I finished all of my stretches. My neck still stiff, unyielding and throbbing as I began to watch the various offered options as I tried feeling for the right one, finding the lessening of pain as my guide, to fully view or continue in my search until I found one that gave incredible easy relief for me. The whole time I am communicating with my neck for answers and by following its directives, I ended the day comfortable including one last set of stretches before going to bed. This morning waking up gingerly, feeling and sensing for any soreness as I allowed answers to filter through my mind. Hearing the phrase that I have been affirming for months “This or Something Better” in a whole new way.
All of this pain has been me trying to tell me how I have been going in circles with so many of the mantras, affirmations, beliefs and thoughts that continuously seemed to “always” flood my brain as the quick fix, say it 50 times and be done solution that I have been stuck in. Now I heard and understood what I had been trying to do with any affirmation…not feeling the answer resonate with me as a way to live my life.
To say words and not realize I was holding myself prisoner by repetition of thinking I was doing it right. Not getting into the feel of what “This or Something Better” truly could mean for me. I was saying the words, and then jumping on each passing possibility suggested by another as the something better. Even though deep inside I could feel the tiny hesitation “really, hmmm, okay” and all the other signs that meant I wasn’t grounded in the truth for me.
This morning I saw the small sucker limb on this old mesquite tree, about 15 feet below the offending mistletoe infestation that I was thinking the tree needed to be trimmed back from again. Which having been done many times in the past and still the infestation returns. Yet in my mind to cut the tree back to the place this new limb is coming from I would be afraid I would kill the tree. Instead of allowing God to show me how simple it is to have the answer just present itself to me at the perfect time in the perfect way… Because I asked, left it alone and allowed for a better answer than the only one I could at the moment possibly see or imagine… instead of just seeing the tree free of the problem and thriving. Life is a miracle when I let go of imagining that “I have to know the how” to get or do all the possibilities to cause the outcomes and just let it all become what I dream of with thankfulness!
Posted on August 4, 2014, in allowing, Appreciation, Attention, Awareness, Body-talk, Choices, Confidence, Confirmation, Discovery, Exceptance, Feelings, God, Healing, Learning, Life, Listening, movement, observation, Realizations, Self-appreciation, Self-confidence, Self-discovery, Self-Empowerment, Timing, trusting, Understanding. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.