I have been clearing, cleaning, sifting and sorting my life out… to find out about the word “LOVE”. Seems like a simple thought considering my NDE which exposed me to the wonderful exhilarating sensation and feeling of unconditional love… The first time as about a 3 year old… the feeling staying around until the next rough experience of what I was being told “Love” was as I was receiving another punishment for whatever thing a little one might do to upset parents under the worlds design of appropriate behavior, style or fashion.
Fast forward 30 years for/to the next other worldly experience in Canada where the afterglow stayed with me for almost 24 hours… until I arrived back home driving in my driveway, and seeing this immense dark cloud over the top of my house. To lose this sense of invincibility as the habitual fear of “what have I done now” descended upon me…
Forward another 20 years to find myself at what many would describe at nearly “rock bottom” from a sudden divorce, loss of friends, status, etc and the left half of my face falling.
Which was the beginning of my truly slowing down, learning to let go of what was coming from without and begin to really study myself. Already having bookshelves crammed with self-help books. I began the process of reconnecting with me.
Now 3 years later I have come to the realization that I can accomplish and do anything when I am connected to the “Source” in me… I sense for the right feel of whatever is being presented. Is it a definite yes… then I commit. If not a full yes… it’s a no! I slow down, take a breath, listen and feel if the voice in my head is positive it’s me, if it is condemning, doubtful, or annoying it is someone else’s opinion of what has worked for them, or what they think might work for me yammering for my attention.
Finding in the last few years that many of the words I have been taught and believed I knew the meaning of, I have needed to sometimes actually look them up, amazed to find many definitions for a word that I had been taught or understood to only mean one thing.
To then come in here this morning to find several post about love and knowing from my own experience of struggle over my perceived difference between “love” attached to conditions or rules by/of others, and “unconditional love” total acceptance that it is all good.
I love the insight, sharing, and caring that goes on and I find when I come from a place of total acceptance…An “It’s All Good” frame of mind. I now love every part of my life. I have learned that when something gives me the least angst… “I desired coffee the other morning and my son had once again used up all of the milk…”for I drink my milk with sugar and coffee”. As I started to do my habitual nagging of what about me, I heard and felt within myself “You attracted this because you need more water much less of any other beverage and by this happening it’s the only way you have attracted to cut back on your overloading with coffee habit to pay attention of your need to and ability to change .”
I was flooded with this sense of unconditional love for my son, the situation, and myself. As I realized I am finally listening to the Christ within me. I am connecting all of me, heart, head, body, and soul. As I realize life has constantly been supporting me, even with what felt like “No’s” for if I would just wait, listen and look around I would have find the very thing I truly need is usually right there in a format that I have been trained away from listening to the guidance from within.
I love and appreciate everyone I meet. My life keeps changing and wonderfully improving as I listen, fully trust, and love the positive voice and gut feelings that are there for each and every one of us every moment of every day. Have a great day!!