Category Archives: Abrahem
First time in a very long while that the desire to write actually brought me to stop, sit down and just let my fingers follow the awareness’s found today.
This morning found me busy, doing all the things so that everything was in place, and ready for my two Sunday lessons. Round pen watered, horses fed and hayed, all equipment out, available and in place, with a last minute check to see if anything else needed to be done, so that things were just right.
Two hours later, found my students happy, successful, sweaty and glowing with their personal accomplishments. And me in the conflict after scheduling the next set of lessons, even earlier in the morning to avoid as much of the Texas heat as possible.
I was soaked in sweat, hair, shirt, most of my jeans, but at least my socks and shoes were dry and though heavy easy to slip off as I walked back into the welcoming cool of the house. After tending to the washed and watered off lesson horse, to send him and the other two loose for the rest of this Sunday. Aware of the feeling of my every thought, the heat, taking care of all others first, the reality of how great my place looked in perfect order.
Yet I could feel something was off. Aware of the tiredness from last night’s closing shift at 11, in bed by 12 to the early alarm at 7. All of this calculating, planning and double checking… felt off. I got myself some more water, started up a solitaire game, turned on some Abraham Hick’s, to feel the words soaking through my last few weeks of house cleaning to get to the bottom of this peculiar off feeling, permeating my skin at every move.
My eyes became heavy, as my entire body demanded rest, I flipped on a meditation and allowed it to take me away. Awakening to this feeling of recognition of an answer… to find the upside down heart my meditation afghan had formed, tossed off in my body’s desire for super cooling down. The answer ringing in my ears, as I replayed, then wrote out the entire end of the Abraham from earlier to truly let the words sink in, of my “chronic thoughts, that I’m thinking on a really regular basis, that fly in the face of who I really am and what I really know and it’s thoughts like the source within me knows that I am destined to fantastic success and than I am taking score of where I am and doubt that from time to time the source within me knows that there is no competitions. As I sometimes see others in what they are doing as competition and I feel that discomfort in that the source within me knows that what I think I want is still going to expand still further. In other words I haven’t even begun to tap the resources that are flowing to me…”
All of this belief in competition, my opinion of any other, what they are doing, wearing, breathing, speaking trying, becoming or thinking of me. Is not any of my business. It takes me away from feeling good! Away from being enough, better, or worse. It’s a habit of thought brought on by years of buying into “everyone elses opinion” of me matters, so that must mean I must either live up to their expectations or they must live up to mind. How crazy my life has been by believing in standards, trying to fit in, stand out, not fit in or even be seen.
When I felt the satisfaction of remembrance of each and every time I have ever created anything. Always caused, by an impulse, inspiration, awareness, or sudden idea that just “Felt Good” and I followed it. Not caring, not planning, just living fully, completely, in the moment. Reveling in my ability to connect to Source within me. With it’s Guiding, leading, dancing, co-creating the perfect solution for whatever had just caught my attention. To now be viewed in an entirely new way.
I’m back to being just me, doing living by finding and doing everything that feels good! 100 percent just playing and reveling with my fine tuning to be more and more me each and every moment of every day! Everyone else is off the hook to just be who they be!
Work related background about Jerry Hicks. Seemed of interest to me, after hearing him speak about being a gymnast and Am Way in one or two of the tapes, which also led to me wondering about an obituary or more tributes. Any other interesting information on one who has done so much for me in helping me to see things differently, allowing me to find out more about myself.
That’s when the fun began… First search turned up a lot of interesting blogs, many against, jealous, and justified by what seemed the one thing be it animals, religion, spirituality, the age difference, or death that was somehow stirred up by their coming into contact with the Abraham material. I shared this with my friend, whom then sent back several positive tributes, one with a great LOA story and others who interestingly attached stuff for sell.
I got the hunch to check out the other laws of the Universe, which led to Wikipedia and a synopsis of the Law of Success books originally written by Napoleon Hill, which felt so much easier to read than to buy or download the whole series off the web. When I decided to see if I could find “Think and Grow Rich”, I entered it into the search bar and within less than 5 minutes I had found it, downloaded it for free and started to leisurely read.
Wow, I got so amazed, so hungry about the third chapter I could not stop. I started copying and pasting the points of interest and by 10:15 last night I had all but three chapters to go and I was so excited after doing all the suggestions. Took my list of what I intend for the next week to bed with me, re-read it out loud and off to sleep I drifted.
Woke up, re-read what I had written, adding a new thought of doing it all by Friday. The phone rings and a client wants to know if she can come today with a horse previously not due here till middle of January. I said sure, got dressed, fed the horses, noticed water standing in a few low places and thought what an easy job for the boys to grab the wheelbarrow and move a few loads of sand to fill in.
Went back in and propositioned the 3 money hungry boys, with the added condition if it was done right and better than I expected, there would be bonus money. If I had to re-organize or show them it would be less. They charged out the door, I went and got all the paperwork ready and a cup of coffee, so pleased with my new lined up ways of thinking. Headed back out the door, the boys were busy, my client drove up, had a great starting session with her horse, and then came the horse trimmer to fix more of the transitions in the horse’s feet.
About then I saw the monkeys sneak off to go get cleaned up to ride their bikes to town, job half done, expecting me to just pay and let them go, not even expecting how strong my awareness has become. Suddenly it is like I have been given permission to live life my way. They try to bargain, I check their work, and walk away. They try to do a little more, wheedle, whine, plead, I explain it is either done right for the full amount or I pay for what they have actually done up till now. This game of who will give in first proceeds for the next two hours, till my son finally tells the others “she’s not budging, not one cent till we do exactly what she asked”. Five minutes later I have all the chores done, the holes leveled, the house clean and three young men rushing off to town before I might possibly change my mind.
I so loved all the twist and turns that brought me so many of the pieces I was still missing, and the answers formulated in such a way in a simple book I have heard about for years. Just seemed I wasn’t ready for it or the clarity it has brought till yesterday. It has taught me how wonderful my mind is, how valuable my intuition is, and how awesome I have gotten at listening to, and following what sometimes feel like really off the wall ideas, that then almost magically direct me to exactly what I have been asking for. I love me, I love my life, I love all my dreams and imaginings starting to appear right before my expecting eyes!