Category Archives: Attention
I have spent the last few mornings opening and perusing my many uplifting emails from others. Always easily deleting the off-key nonessential ones that always contribute to my ability to choose what I allow into my mind. For me to find myself opening an email from another like to my blog which has been lying dormant, as the new seeds of certainty slowly spring to life. Opening up the husk of long held close reverence to the confidence that I have been fanning from a tiny old spark, to this consistent rising flame of life!
Life from beneath the ashes where I once quelled, lying shaken and afraid from my allowing a well-known critic (in my circle) to slash my last book attempt to fragments for “My Way” of connecting to others from my learnings with people and their horses. Allowing another’s power of “their” opinion to have any say whether I was good, or not…
So I retreated…
Deep inside to the murky waters of doubt that seemed to be so warm, safe, comforting…
Only to discover they were only concealing the truth of how truly powerful and awesome I was to those who needed and understood the view “I” was coming from. They are the ones whom I write and share for. There are many who might critique, complain and condemn my ways… But they are not of importance to me, except for how they remind me to look forward at my ability. Never back to the old ruts of OPO (other people’s opinion) that use to be the trap I so easily fell into.
This morning’s email being the third time this week that I have received thanks and likes about blogs that I had previously written months and years ago. Before I finally was caught in the deep old waters of fear that so easily encourage me back to their depths for the false safety of doing without movement forward, just resting in the their dark, murky depths…
No… I choose to rise!
Just this last week I went from just riding, interacting, and socializing fully with my horses, especially “Charlie” and my students. I am fully embracing, loving all of life again with biking 2 miles and walking 1 mile every day. Now finding myself, feeling amazingly alive because I choose to believe in myself, in my ability and right to do things my way in everything I do. Knowing and trusting those who need what and how I write, will find this to be blessed, encouraged or just amused at how easy it is to just “breathe”, take “baby steps” and the world will support you being fully true to Yourself! It is always Time!
The light just totally went on!!! The post I just read thinking’s spilt out onto the page for me to find. So fitting with the short delving into the book “Thick Face, Black Heart” and my last two intense weeks of reading, listening and meditating on both Catherine Ponder’s and Florence Scovel Shinn’s works. All of which I had been allowing myself to just be still with this morning for me to put all of this introspecting together with the discovery of a manila folder labeled with my oldest son’s name in a pile of what I had assumed were my boys grade school works of art. But instead of finding his stuff, there were safely all of my poems, drawings and writings. About my desires, wish, hopes, and dreams that I placed in this folder from out of my wish book, right after I crashed back in 2007 and I had thought all hopes of ever achieving were lost to me… To be found 2 days ago in my thoroughly cleaning out and discarding, bags and boxes full of old stuff. Which I have truly dug through and honestly looked at with the eyes and heart of do I need, desire or even mildly like that which now sits in front of me to see.
Interestingly enough finding these works of mine came right after reading in the book Dynamic Laws of Prosperity “Begin now by first asking yourself just what it is that you honestly desire most in your life. Be specific; be definite, and sincere with yourself. Then write down your dominant desires. Thereafter, declare in privacy, without telling anyone what you are doing, the divine fulfillment of your desires.”
Fascinated because these are my dreams…that I had shelved, hidden, even obscured from myself, except when one of the poems would briefly come into my mind for a second and I would try to remember all of it and then became afraid that maybe it was all of that dreaming had caused my dis-ease in the first place. Yet now, today looking back, I realize my being sick came was because I shared them with others who… I had allowed to change, correct, or minimize “My Deepest Desires” until my inner being had had enough of this lifelong tug of war of trying to “FIT IN”.
I have discovered in the last few months of introspect… that all of these teachers, writers, yogis, and gurus I have spent the last seven years following. Are just giving us their versions of how they accomplished things to have “their” lives work for them. We are all made as individuals looking for “Our own unique Signature and Style”!
Even now as I edit this, I am aware of the subtle hints my own inner beingness has been whispering to me as I have been persistently searching for my own direct connection. Noticing signs, slowing down to feel is this part of the trail, or is this the full deal. Much like when I find a new recipe that appeals to me, and as I am tasting, imagining and smelling the final results in my body. I find sometimes as I begin to read what I have printed out and go to the kitchen to see how many of the required ingredients I have on hand. I will espy a spice, or condiment I can substitute because I have almost all of the other ingredients, instead of stopping, running to town and buying the few other things I might need. To then find a better, tastier and many times awesome upgrade that is perfect for me.
By Jove I think I have this! As I walked around this morning raking hay and the metal handle snapped. My first thought was hmmm… then in my mind’s eye I remembered all the various sized pieces of scrap pipe in the barn. Took the rake in, found the pile, and rummaged through it till I found a perfect fitting piece. Then cut both the new internal extension to the right length, the rake handle open, rebending the flattened pieces, slipped in the extension now garnished with QuikSteel weld. Followed by a wrap or two of duct tape to allow usage of it until it can be taken up to the schools welding shop with my youngest son for his class tomorrow.
I am always guided; it just has been such a struggle to believe in myself… again. Because before I never really trusted or believed in me 100% all of the time, I so bought into the sideshow of life that tried and very successfully convinced me I didn’t have the right stuff. Except for when all of a sudden I was doing what minutes, days, weeks, months before I had been told was impossible… Hurray for me. I am beginning to confidently and consistently hold my own in a world full of other people’s opinions about life and doing it all My Way!!
The last few days have found me in a remarkable feat of truly cleaning house, barn and office. Espying things I so desire to now have, as I look around at what is here that I can change in a very concrete steps of movement forward, and all the while with an ear turned inward listening to the latest conversations going on in my head. Which less and less lately have been arguments between my old insistence of holding on to parts of my past that truly no longer serve me anymore and the truth of just letting go of them. I am realizing many of the items were things I was talked into and then have been clinging so hard to the imagined importance they have in my life.
The entire time my body has been orchestrating so many of the decisions by twinges of discomfort when I pick up an item to dispose of, then change my mind and put it back. Only to be met by a dull ache, which within minutes easily escalates to a full pain of “no, go it must”, after finding, pulling, stretching, massaging, even aspirin are not letting me off the hook.
Today finding me loads lighter, after several trips to sell, donate, or throw away various pieces and piles of memories I know needed to be looked at in a new light. Appreciated for their time in service to me and applauded for their holding out till I was ready to see… I truly can have my life, anyway that I desire. When I line up my outside world view with the way the inner me guides me to embrace my truly heart felt decisions. Guided by this whole body (heart, mind and spirit) which has been talking to me all along, just my understanding of right, wrong, rules, and long held decisions proclaimed to me from others as their truths. Really were “their” truths, they just didn’t and don’t fit me.
From my 29 x 38-40 inch inseams, to my size 8 ½ D men’s shoe size (that translates to about a 10 ½ to 11 in women’s) with my broad size large shoulders, to have to take up to a medium/small waste. My taste of cowboy boots, Wrangler blue jeans, and mostly cotton, soft to the touch, colorful sleeveless shirts, which I buy for the way they feel and fit. The sleeves are usually not long enough to get to my wrist, so I cut the sleeves off, redesign them into the pockets I prefer on shirts to hold my chapstick when I am out with the horses.
I am aware of my body’s guidance even now as I type for the words which just flow across the page, except for the feeling of stop, look again, maybe… then an aha as the right words fill in the pause of… hmmm, no not that… Yep that is perfect, as I smile aware of me finally getting me right. Topped off by the last few days of amazing, wonderful incidents of after each situation occurred and I calmly addressed the “that’s not what I had planned” with the words and the feelings of “this or something better” which resonated completely through all parts of me.
Last night’s clients choosing to wait two weeks to pay at the actual next lesson, instead of their usual pre-paying before the start of each new series. I breathed, smiled, said sure, while changing my plans for a meal out to what could be thrown together without going to town. As my youngest walked in, asked where we were going for supper, and before I could even get my thoughts together, said “my treat”, so off we went for a simple together supper. Where he then informed me he has been using my “thank you box” for himself. Hmm imagine that.
With this morning’s lesson a no show, I relished the cool weather and great ground after last night’s shower for me and my horses to utilize and enjoy. Followed by a quick trip to the feed and grocery store with a compelling urge to stop and buy some scratch off tickets. Which after all feed and groceries were put up, revealed 3 purchased tickets, 3 winners, $37.00 to the plus. All by listening to the inner guidance of my feeling good, my confidence with the quick impulses and my trusting my body for the distinct yes’s when I feel fine and the aches signaling I am out of sorts thinking and living from someone else’s beliefs or ideas of what is best for me.
Finding a peaceful, truly open feeling at my place as I discarded all of the stuff other’s, in their attempt to make my life comfortable to their beliefs and ideas of who I was expected to be. Now opens up and expands as I live for me, loving, caring and listening to all parts of me, guided by my every breath to know what is best and right for me to be the best me, listening to the Source within me!
“Explanations usually come along with intuitive messages on a “need to know basis.” When the bigger, more important messages need to surface, they will, so pay attention! Listen with your heart. We now know that the heart has many more neurons than it would need just for circulation of blood. By following through on your everyday hunches, you are actually taking test drives, virtually honing in on your listening skills. These skills will serve you well. Everyone is apparently somewhat psychic, but many people just have flabby psychic muscles.
Learning to listen to your inner dialog tones and strengthens this muscle. The more you use your intuition the better you get at it. When we choose to ignore our gut instincts, we are only hurting ourselves. The holistic or wholistic movement is about healing this problem.
Listening to your intuition is the essence of art and creativity and soulful living. Intuition is what you use to find the purpose of your life and your place in the world. Once you awaken your inner guide by unlocking the wisdom of your subconscious mind, you already know what to do.”
Perfectly timed morning email message to allow me to know “I Am” learning to listen to the guidance from within me as I made my way through my morning tasks, finding with each step I am taking a softening of how I did and now will be viewing and living my life. Aware of how I am choosing new words to describe things that before I “always” used terms about my work, chores, and jobs that defined my life in a feeling of have to, must, and some absurd time schedule to get things done, now, immediately, quickly and efficiently so that the job would be done right and I could mark it off as complete to get on to the next thing on the list.
There is no real joy I now find in doing that. Though I did have the satisfaction of completion and accomplishment… but not the reveling in each moment as when the water trough fills and I espied Charlie stopping in his eating to stop and look to see what I was watching.
The world responding to me, what I am vibrating out, how I am breathing… I can tell by how peacefully he looks, checks back in with me and then grabs another mouthful of hay as the water just starts to overflow from his trough and I kink the hose to move down to the next pen.
These simple things that I so relish now in the steps of early morning feeding, which before I had been pushing myself to get done in this old habit or belief of an accomplishment done, trumped the joy in each step or new thing observed in completing the task at hand. Hearing the words I have spoken a thousand times to my students “a quarter inch improvement’ will slowly and surely build the steps to mastering their connection with a horse. Fluidness comes from being in the moment, sensing, feeling, flowing, and accomplishing without having to stop, think, fumble, and then take a breath with any movement forward in our awkwardness to get “it” right so we fit in to the ideal mold we have stuck in our head.
Once again aware of how much I have been actually talking to myself when I teach others… just not listening to what I was saying. The blessing being is I am enjoying the fruits of my awakening as I realize I knew the right answers all along for me… just with no belief or confidence in my own connection that the still small voice from within was God answering me. I did not “use” to believe in my own worthiness to have, much less be allowed a direct connection. Still small steps, ah hah moments, deep breaths of awareness, learning to be aware if I am smiling, truly enjoying each moment… and loving the progress!
Interesting the turns one’s life takes, when we allow the Universe to work with us, instead of us working and struggling alone trying to get it all done… right NOW! This morning being a perfect example of the way life can be when we ask, believe, and get out of our beliefs of this is the only way it can happen or be.
I have been juggling the last few months with my trying so many unsuccessful ways to move forward… “now”, “quickly” with my stubborn attempts to free myself from this old feeling of stuckedness. As I tried, schemed, planned and determined what the “it” was I was stuck in, with the added complication (in my minds way of thinking) of my body’s occasional shenanigans of various nicks, scratches, minor pains and some downright breath taking falls. All in my stubborn determination to “get it done” and over with this time once and for all.
Solidly going through my self-determined path of how and what “it” was going to be. Finding interesting, tantalizing, and annoying side roads that made the newest espied discovery, a possible quicker fix to getting me out of my own confusion of how and what the problem was, that this newest presentation, ad, or suggestion present in front of me promised would whisk me to my desired goal right NOW.
All in all a great way to spend my time running in circles of doing, trying, listening to and trusting “all” of this outside stuff to be more important than the path my inner self was trying to guide me on when this newest tempting suggestion would suddenly appear. Such a great game of cat and mouse, without me actually having to slow down to fully believe and trust in all of me, all of the time.
As I look back on how easily I have been swayed to look anywhere outside of me and yet still not trust or feel the tiny, fleeting sense of doubt that was throwing up the red flags at whatever was present was just a “tiny ant trail” not the main path for me to go. Until came the moment I was spinning in the air from being “bucked off” one of my own horses. Where I became aware of how all of my choices of moving so mentally quickly, flashed through my mind as I was somersaulting to the ground. I could look back in slow motion to the point in time where I had failed to fully cinch up my saddle, as my mind was not in that moment but a full hour ahead rushing to my next appointment.
The last few weeks since then I have made several trips to my chiropractor to adjust the various parts of my anatomy that took the opportunity of this latest incident to get me to really slow down and listen to my body and how I feel God communicates with me. First with my ribs being out, I had to learn to take things really, really slow, for every breath was a fully conscious experience as I expanded and contracted my healing ribs. My hip allowed me to find how to truly, slowly feel and enjoy each movement in my daily stretches that I use to just do, to be done, checked off the list, not relish and attempt to stretch a little further every time to become more flexible. To finally my neck, which woke me up yesterday so stiff, sore, and unyielding in its almost bringing me to tears of desperation as I knew it was Sunday and no one local available for me to go to for an adjustment.
So I stretched, very slowly, very deliberately, fully involved with what my muscles could tolerate, feeling, sensing, listening and tuning in to me… The thought blinked in my mind’s eye to look up video on YouTube on how to pop my own neck after I finished all of my stretches. My neck still stiff, unyielding and throbbing as I began to watch the various offered options as I tried feeling for the right one, finding the lessening of pain as my guide, to fully view or continue in my search until I found one that gave incredible easy relief for me. The whole time I am communicating with my neck for answers and by following its directives, I ended the day comfortable including one last set of stretches before going to bed. This morning waking up gingerly, feeling and sensing for any soreness as I allowed answers to filter through my mind. Hearing the phrase that I have been affirming for months “This or Something Better” in a whole new way.
All of this pain has been me trying to tell me how I have been going in circles with so many of the mantras, affirmations, beliefs and thoughts that continuously seemed to “always” flood my brain as the quick fix, say it 50 times and be done solution that I have been stuck in. Now I heard and understood what I had been trying to do with any affirmation…not feeling the answer resonate with me as a way to live my life.
To say words and not realize I was holding myself prisoner by repetition of thinking I was doing it right. Not getting into the feel of what “This or Something Better” truly could mean for me. I was saying the words, and then jumping on each passing possibility suggested by another as the something better. Even though deep inside I could feel the tiny hesitation “really, hmmm, okay” and all the other signs that meant I wasn’t grounded in the truth for me.
This morning I saw the small sucker limb on this old mesquite tree, about 15 feet below the offending mistletoe infestation that I was thinking the tree needed to be trimmed back from again. Which having been done many times in the past and still the infestation returns. Yet in my mind to cut the tree back to the place this new limb is coming from I would be afraid I would kill the tree. Instead of allowing God to show me how simple it is to have the answer just present itself to me at the perfect time in the perfect way… Because I asked, left it alone and allowed for a better answer than the only one I could at the moment possibly see or imagine… instead of just seeing the tree free of the problem and thriving. Life is a miracle when I let go of imagining that “I have to know the how” to get or do all the possibilities to cause the outcomes and just let it all become what I dream of with thankfulness!
I was conversing with a friend whom I have noticed in the last few days has been coming down with a cold, all congested and stuffy. When out of my mouth popped “What are you all confused about?” so she began to tell me about the things going on at home with her husband and her trying to put all of the pieces together with his possible new job, his coaching their daughters soccer and juggling all of their time together. I could feel and here all of the worry and work that her brain was scrambling to do to get the pieces to fit and her frustration in it not coming together fast enough to ease all of these new fears for the two of them.
After she lined out all of the pros, cons, the possible, the impossible and anything else that came to her mind. She turned to me to see what I suggested. I said why not just allow God to put it together. See all the pieces just fitting perfectly, with all of you laughing and enjoying how easy life has now become with the perfect money and time to be just enjoying it all.
I watched as I evidently spoke the very words she needed to here, as I saw her shoulders relax, her body straighten out, and when she started talking again I pointed out to her all of her congestion was now almost non existent. She was like “wow’ as I explained all of her congested, stuck and stopped up thinking had materialized in her body, until she talked about it, got it out, to find and feel an answer that eased all of this internal mind struggling.
To find myself waking up this morning to an extremely numb shoulder, a stuck and very sore neck. I promptly readjusted my position in bed, and asked my body “what’s up?” Then laid there and let the thoughts just drift in a kind of half-awake state. Seeing scenes from my past, quick glimpses of old incidents, suddenly with other broader views to take in the situation. Aware of the long standing issue with my top rib’s tendency to be easily popped out of place, my own confusion at times of either running or only standing up for myself when I am cornered. In a whole new light as a habit I picked up when learning to defend myself in a very frightening situation many, many years ago that all of me automatically goes to as a survival mode when things get the least little bit tense and uncomfortable.
I thanked my body for answering, then stopped and paused long enough to ask it if there was anything else I needed to know. To be then flooded with information about my own uniqueness that has been assaulted, played down and punished by anyone who I allow their opinion to matter, over what feels or works for me.
The back of my neck eased considerably, until I desired to share this by writing here… to feel this fear come over me of the consequences of sharing what I have learned once again in my writing. My breath became shallow, my ears ringing and then I noticed my fingers and nails. None would ever be photographic for another; so many scars from all of the many things I have been so hands on about.
Both middle fingernails are flat and shovel shaped with no normal fingerprint on the other side because as a child, the neighbor had an electric wire that he had strung across his garage door to keep the local alley cats out of. Which about the age of five I sat on to swing as some little kids would do. Promptly to receive electricity through the scarred place on my behind and to then have it ground me where my fingers touched the earth.
I realized that one of the teachings I have been studying “states how golden silence is by not sharing information with others who are not ready or in the supportive frame of mind”. And the perfect solution then entered my mind…as I remembered how I spent days around Christmas time figuring out how to install the rate this app on my site thinking how important it was to know what another thought.
Now realizing as long as I am willing to write this and take the time to share it. People can read it, comment, find it useful or not without another’s judgment necessary… Because I write to express me, talking to myself, to teach me and allow me to figure me out. The rest just is what it is… my body resonating perfectly as I find myself sitting up straighter, easier and noticing almost all of the discomfort in my neck diminished… small baby steps of asking, listening and responding as I connect to all of me!!!
Intuition, knowing, confidence and plain old common sense have been the big ah hah’s in my last few months of just being, realizing and observing all of these deep held sacred and many unconscious beliefs that have been getting in my way of any real movement in the outside world. This has been brought home to me in my watching not only the horses I interact with on an almost daily basis, but the multitude of people that I now encounter at the convenience store as I play with my form of non-horse humans interactions.
Fascinated with today’s gem in assisting a few people in covering an old tractor, watching the lack of surety in all but one of the members in the group of guys, as the eldest one tried to ramp up the enthusiasm in his two nephews for the promised rewards when the chore was done. All three in the heat of the one o’clock sun, no clouds, no breeze and the leader so intent on finishing the task today, one way or the other. Showing up with a tarp and an idea of fixing the dilemma for his father of the 1940 oldie from further rusting before they could get it restored. Intending to complete the task with just a good heart, a tarp and two nephews as different as the soft sand is from hard baked clay.
I knew someone was here, as the dog’s barking took on the tone of “oh joy… visitors”. To walk out as the uncle was explaining the task of just re-tarping the machine for a few more months to further protect it from the weather, explaining to me as I walked up his simple thoughts, immediately followed by what did I think.
I watched myself as I didn’t think, I just explained the reasons and possible solutions to why they kept having to re-do this every few months. How by placing round buckets over any of the extruding rough and jagged spots before re- tarping, the smoothness would balance out the wind’s ability to rub and wear the tarp over these protruding pipes, handles and various flanges. The thought of this not being a continuous chore caused the light to go on, for him to ask me for further information and he then noticed the parts of the sickle plow pieces, just lying around under the center of the machine slowly being buried in the drifting sand.
He called the boys over and as they went to pick up the pieces to move them into the barn. He with his gloves on, the oldest boy immediately becoming macho stating it was okay as the youngest flinched from the heat of this hot metal sitting in the midday sun. As the uncle started to suggest that he could drive all the way back home to go get some gloves… my mouth just starting spewing words as I took the wooden handle of the rake in my hand, slipped it under one of the bars to the waiting hands of the youngest. To then together with all of the others we hoisted up the pieces comfortably carrying them into the barn, all the while my awareness to what could be done allowed me to access my noticing/intuiting the wood, the time, the distance, the needs of the present moment. My confidence radiating what needed to be done easily shared and readily employed for simple, effective results.
Bringing to my mind how amazingly I always seem to see the quicker, simpler, ways with such ease and ability to then speak up… BECAUSE at that moment I trust what I feel and know. What a huge surprise and relief as the rest of the information about what this seemingly elusive thing is I have been having such a struggle with.
With chores, coaching, teaching, and the horses, I usually allow these feelings to flow… Unless there is someone who starts to spew way to many questions of the hesitation to commit as they continue to stare at and wrestle with the problem. Words don’t teach, they assist in understanding, but it is our seeing in our mind the finished solution that suddenly causes the path to light up and show itself. I am suddenly, very appreciative of all the times I was so head on with what to do and praised for my common sense. Now aware of how I have been tapping in to my inner self and trusting the answers that present themselves for ME!
It’s the talking with and to others in the last few months that has finally caused me to realize this. It is being talked out of my gut instincts and into my head to defend or explain how and why I come up with the answers I do. Now I am seeing how when others start talking or questioning me it is a form of frustration, confusion or distrust of things being easier and simpler than “they” were taught. It’s supposed to be hard, take forever, have all of these problems… and my answers usually come so fast and simple… I have been questioning my own right to know, trust, much less connect with my own instinctive responses. Hmmmm… as I allow this to really sink in I realize horses don’t talk when they communicate they just “DO” the solution, the next movement, the next step as they are committed to their end result!
This is crazy, I was so headed somewhere else with this post. Just after reading Linda’s, Perianne’s, and Kylie’s I began remembering what great fun he and I had, we were such good friends. So when I got home to ride, things just all easily came together over some real tough, freezing, looking the other way issues. My big horse, attempted it first, he thought I wasn’t fully focused on him, and tried to take in a breath, get big… till I moved his nose, caused him to lose his footing, and then asked him to give at the poll to back up. He almost fell over, trying to get his feet out of his own way, because I was ready for him… I was daydreaming, but alive and watchful. With in 5 minutes my big tough overlord, was apologizing and asking quicker, easier, and much more mindful.
Turned him loose, and pulled out the second in command. Who tried the poor me, I was so abused, I was just kidding. Once again I was aware and moving, first him right, then to the left, allowing him to snort and try every gimmick he could muster, till suddenly it dawned on him. I was on to his game too. Suddenly there was so much softness, so much respect, so much “oh my God she really has this figured out” “damn” I then had his attention, his flexibility and his wanting to do more, without the games.
Knowing as I put him up I was on the trail of my youngest son’s shenanigans of all these stories playing out here before me and being turned back on each trickster male horse in my herd. The third boy decided in less time than the first two, that the gig was up, he had better watch his p’s and q’s and I had the most wonderful, soft attentive pony of the day.
Then my little girl, such a charmer, no mistakes, no errors, always doing as much as I ask and then some. Sigh. Next to the new horse, she is better, she is trying, she loves I do all this brushing and stroking…tries to barely move, just a little push back…until I up my energy. No, no, no, she wants me to ask and let her decide, so we begin the game, and slowly, step, by step, by step, her stride increases to a flat out walk, turn circle, stop, back, now for just a small trot around the pen. She braces, she plants her butt, she refuses. I squeeze again, she balks, swells up underneath me. I ask by bumping her sides. She grunts, her back raises and she pins her ears. I warn with a “shhh and a hey”. Bump her again, and out shoots one hind leg kick in what feels like a very uncomfortable direction. Up to the trot she goes, but dang it, I know she has pinched something in her back. She has been turnout to long, she threw way to much into that kick, and the tale tell signs of her having given birth and not being gotten back into shape, have proved her undoing. We finish, I massage her as best I can, give her some pain medicine, and check her later on, knowing she needs some work. I call the owner, then the chiropractor, explain what has happened, he confirms my suspicions, and gives me a list of stretches, massages and movements to do. Knowing if anyone can make it better besides him, it’s me and the crazy voo doo I do.
The rest of the evening is an interplay of my youngest behavior, showing all the signs of the exact changes I have made in my male horses. I love how I always have a compass to direct me and where it is I need to look, feel and find the answers I seek. Cept for the male, the man, this guy…hmmmm He’s coming, I know this, I just have to move a little bit to the left, he’s right there…
Excitement building in every waking moment, I am on such a wave of movement forward. Have all these things just popping into place. Had a dream about the arena completed, the land bought, the house being built, the students coming, money flowing in as fast as it was needed, each thing adding to an ever increasing, growing, thriving new way of educating those seeking to understand their own passions about life. They then in turn teaching it to others…
Woke up, and bam, knew the first person I wanted to share this with, called my counselor friend and explained the horse connection she has been privileged to introduce to the school district here. Just currently stymied in where to continue holding the sessions, when I explained the new vision I had seen…she’s in. Called the other lady I know who has experience promoting, writing, and getting funding for causes she believes in, her weekend situation had already had her thinking in that direction. Bam she’s in, but because of what happened, her lawyer husband, listening in and truly interested in changing others’ lives for the better, bam he’s in. Then a phone call from my Abe cohort, who has had an interesting dealing with her son’s school, as we talk and I explain the dream and all the pieces, yep, you guessed it…bam she too is in.
Ride my horses, have a appointment over who else to add or ask into the Master group, grants, funding, business curriculum, mission statement and a title “Passionate Purposes” . I am rocking my world, we are sharing, writing, laughing, excited and seeing all theses years of small pieces of accomplishments that looked like such dead ends. Suddenly there are connecting roads, new bridges, awesome cleared landscapes, and in the three hours we build an entire new structured idea of the way to positively affect the future for those in our part of the world. Followed by the ripple affect to all that it touches…I love my life, my world, my passion…and I love sharing it and encouraging others to do what they love. Pay attention, know your intention to what you are focused upon, allow for guidance, then step bravely, confidently forward…and Bam, Your In!