“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” ~Helen Keller
I never would of thought that bull nettle could be so full of the information that I have been asking for clarity about. Yet, here I was out in the amiable Texas 96 degree weather, slowly, deftly moving from plant to plant on the top 2 acres of my property.
Not having rain on this clay/sand hillside was allowing growth only to the magically deep taproot system that allows this plant to flourish amid the heat. Much like my deep rooted desire to know the truth in my questioning of off feeling beliefs, that wonderfully keep surfacing for me to examine and change or discard completely.
I had noticed in the last few days the raggedness of the sparse growth of grass in any but the shaded areas, with the contrasting greenness and size of the scattered nettles out on my riding area. Trusting the impulse to more easily weed-eat them than drag out the big mower. I easily fired up my machine and started trimming away, when I felt this huge download of thoughts from the questioning earlier of my belief of why I “use to so easily do for others first”.
Old belief “because I’m supposed to take care of others first, helping those less fortunate because I perceive them as helpless.” Flip side “I assist others as I guide them into finding their own answers as I now choose to see them as confident and able, when they find information they get from answering their own questions filtered back to them”.
This was followed by a new understanding about instant gratification and manifestation. Caused from the circumstances of several of my clients in the last few days, whose children, friends or family would either physically, by text or by calling. Break in at a crucial part of the lesson, for the parent to stop, fix, buy, console, or delegate whatever the other needed, so they could continue “their lesson on their time”. Followed by personal awareness of when I use to do the same in shopping with my kids and “buy them something” so I could think, finish shopping and have my peace back. Highly aware of how much I used to mentally beat up on myself for giving in to them.
Now I see that as a learned habit, but at least I allowed myself to buy my own thinking privacy back. Even when I handled the beliefs of “their my kids, family, friends, they don’t understand, I must take care of them first, because they won”t love me” if I don’t.” The buying was a perfect instant manifestation for me… I never celebrated that I did momentarily take the heat off of myself. Albeit temporarily, I had an out, a little relief, I did have a solution to a huge bevy of taught beliefs about my children, spouse, coworkers (fill in the blank) coming first.
This peace I find in physical work, especially since I tackle the “real work” the kind that makes you sweat, get dirty, stinky, smell, break nails, soil and wrinkle your clothes. The kind unless paid, threatened or begged… everyone mysteriously vanishes. For me to contentedly, accomplish the task at hand, and allow my mind to focus. My perfect self-taught way for those millions of other thoughts to be held at bay… My learning how to allow only in that which assist me in the task at hand.
I am so proud of me. I have been secretly meditating for years with working… playing with my dreams, accomplishing consistent daily steps toward my goal. Alone!!
So gloriously now in full awareness of my learning how to get more and more in touch with my inner guidance, to follow impulses, to do these little movements forwards, by reading just a page in a book, just a quote here, a glance, then movement to readjust a bucket. Pay attention to my horse’s ear because someone is approaching, notice the response in my clients of the frustration of how to stop their child’s onslaught need for attention. Finding the ability to focus, notice, and assist on the real nature of the question not voiced. Where does one’s power begin…
Finally fascinated with how many words, phrases, and excuses I use to believe held the key to personal power. How much it use to frustrate me to find a book, lecturer, video, or series that would just go on and on and on. And my mind would scream “To Many Words, simpler is better”. I was just taught (and believed) it was rude to honor my true feelings. I needed to explain myself, and this whole list of and for others. Instead of one simple, poignant word… NO! One word that is simple, yet powerful, and to the point “NO!”
Saying No to another… is such a big YES to SELF!!
Been doing a lot of reading lately both from WordPress and from the various emails I receive from several horse sources. My way of allowing information to come in that I get to choose, though my choosing is of a feeling nature, usually I can sense whether I should or should not open, before even opening it. With the added guidance of as I read a once opened email, I usually get a little into reading one before I continue or decide that the enclosed information differs so much from the life I intend to now pursue, I just hit delete. Even more enjoyable as of late is emptying the spam mail without even checking what is there. Seems I have suddenly become the attractant to a bulk of spam, from where I have not a clue, but to just decide I feel no attachment to perusing each item and would rather spend my time elsewhere. Hitting the delete button is so liberating. My favorite pastime of late is to be amused by having a thought that feels how I am intending my life. To then open several emails the morning after, and all of those emails coincide with what I have decided, like having the Universe ask “More of this” and I keep answering “yes, please”. To arrive at my growing solid awareness of when I maintain my focus in how I desire to understand or know something. The Universe lines up all of the resources, and the events of the day…to make it all happen exactly in that format, or I am guided to more material or manifestations which help me to choose a new way or line of thinking. I am learning that my attention to my intention is so obviously important, especially with my son and the horses. If I allow them to distract me, cause me to look away or lose focus. I am suddenly miles away from the solution I was aiming for. There had been so much of this redirecting of me, before I recognized and caught my green eyed monster, that the getting mad and angry turned out to be just smoke screens that caused me to get pulled off the solution I could see, just glimmering a few more inches to the right. Funny now when it even begins to happen, I catch myself going “one goal at a time…focus…focus…focus” until I get my balance back and then get the imagined result I was moving toward. Even better is now I can do this with two, three, even four things happening all simultaneously and still stay on tract. I just love how things keep working out for me…better and better every day!